Watch Me As I Fade Away
by Sky Rat
Summary: RanKen! Ken suddenly finds himself in a series of parallel realites. He just wants things to go back to normal. Will be be able to find his way back though? What secrets will Jei and Ruth reveal?
1. Ken's dead

  
  
**Author's Note:** Oh dear. I swore I would always finish a current story before starting another, and that I would never be one of those people who have 6 or so stories going on at once and only update each one like once a year. Sigh. But I got this idea, and I really needed to start on it or I would have forgotten by the time I finished writing 'This is not my life' (cause it will be quite a while before that one gets done.) I promise I will update my other story soon, it's not getting abandoned just because I have started a new one.   
  
**Background information on this story:** The idea behind this story was borrowed from one of my favorite authors, Diana Wynne Jones. It is not related to any specific book of hers, but to her 'perception of reality' which acts as a base in all her stories. She has a theory that there are multiple worlds which all occupy the same place in space. Every time any sort of decision is made, reality divides into two new realities, one for each outcome of the decision (or whatever number of outcomes there where.) So for example, there is a reality in which Germany won WWII, and a reality where the US was never separated from England, etc, etc. But because these all occupy the same physical space, only a small amount of people can move between the worlds, by sort of 'dimension jumping' or something like that. She came up with very specific details about how all this works, but I'm not copying her idea point for point, just loosely basing the plot of my story on it. So That's all you need to know for now, the specifics to how this works in the Weiß universe will be explained a few chapters on in the story.   
  
  
**Disclaimer:** I am not Koyasu Takehito. I am not Diana Wynne Jones. Heck, I can't even claim the real 'Sky Rat.' That's right folks, I own nothing.   
  
  
_This story is dedicated to Mr. Effington._   
  
  
  
  
  
_Watch Me As I Fade Away_   
  
  
  
  
  
I was having one of those "moments."   
  
Maybe you know what I'm talking about. Have you ever noticed how some days just seem to feel more 'real' than others? Not that things aren't always _real_, it's just…I don't know. One day you're walking down the street and you suddenly look at a tree…but instead of just seeing 'a tree' you see each and every individual leaf. You notice the way the sun shining through them makes them light up like pieces of green stained glass. You suddenly see the patterns in the bark and note how it's distinctly unique from each and every tree around it. You don't just see the cement under your feet, but the tiny grains of sand that make it up. The sky seems deeper, and weighty….Hm, maybe I sound like I'm posing as some sort of stupid philosopher. Man. Yohji would have a field day teasing me if he ever heard me talking like this. I can hear him now; "Ha ha! Hey everyone, the stupid jock is trying to be _deep_! Ha! Ha!"   
Sigh.   
  
Well anyway…maybe I sound stupid, but I'm just trying to explain myself. It's something that happens to me every now and then. More often on overcast days than not….I suddenly look up and everything seems different. Like…I spend most of my life in a 2-D world and then every now and then I get a chance to step out into 3-D. Maybe it's just me. It could be that everyone sees the world like that, and I just spend most of my life in a daze. It sure wouldn't surprise me. I've never been known for paying attention, or…oh well. It's not important.   
  
Anway, what _is_ important, is that I was having one of _those_ moments, on _that_ particular day. Otherwise I might not have even noticed when things changed, and…er, I'm already getting ahead of myself. Okay, okay, I'll start at the beginning.   
  
Lets see…It was Saturday…Yohji woke me up by screaming in my ear that Birman was down in the mission room doing a strip tease to "Touch-a-touch-a-touch me" and then laughed at me when….Uh, maybe that's _too_ much the beginning. Damn, I was never any good at telling stories.   
  
Okay: fast forward five hours, to after soccer practice. I had to end the game early because it was starting to rain. The kids begged to keep playing, but I could hear thunder in the distance and decided it was too dangerous to let them stay out. They called their parents, and eventually everyone had gone home except for me. I took my time. Out of all the dangerous things out there, lightening is not something I'm particularly worried about. Heck, if it hits me, I figure it's probably doing me a favor. I'd rather go out that way then by slowly bleeding to death from a gunshot wound or watching my guts spill out from a…eh, you really don't want to hear about all that. Back to the point.   
  
Anyway. I was slowly walking home in the rain. When I say "home" I mean the flower shop, of course. I'm never really sure whether I should consider that as "home" or not, the word instantly making me think of my mom back in…ooh, depressing train of thought there. Never mind.   
  
So it was raining, and I was really enjoying the weather. I could actually _smell_ the rain, although I couldn't for the life of me actually describe to you what that smell was like. I was watching the little ripples radiating out from each raindrop as it hit a puddle, and I was particularly interested in the smoky patterns of the clouds ahead of me. As I said; I was experiencing one of those rare moments when the world seems exceptionally more tangible than normal, and I was feeling a lot more aware of my surroundings then my usual day-dreamy self does.   
  
Which is why I actually took notice when it all changed. I was almost back to the Koneko, just taking a shortcut through an alleyway one street over. I was precisely halfway through the alley, when the rain stopped. I'm not talking about the rain gradually letting up either. I mean it was _pouring_ and then just instantly halted. Just like that. It was like walking through a waterfall or something. Now, shamefully I'll admit that there are days where I actually wouldn't have even noticed this. My mind really wanders sometimes, and I think best when I'm moving, so there could have been plenty of days where it would have taken me a good ten minutes before I even noticed I was no longer being rained on. But this day was different. I wasn't really thinking at all, just looking. So the second the rain stopped, I noticed. I didn't just notice the rain stopping either, but that the ground was suddenly dry. _Everything_ was dry…well, except for me. The sky was several shades lighter, and for all one could tell it had never been raining in the first place.   
  
I blinked. I rubbed my eyes. I turned around and really looked hard at where I had just been walking. It was dry behind me, right where I had been in the rain. It was…well, _creepy_. But aside from the bizarre change in weather, everything else seemed perfectly ordinary. In the end I just shrugged and blamed it all on global warming, or whatever it is that scientists are worrying about these days. I had more important things to worry about. Like changing into dry clothes before I froze to death.   
  
So I sped up my pace, and hurried to the shop. I never bother knocking, I just barged in and threw my coat on the floor. Hey, I was _really_ ready to warm up! I was about to yell a greeting to the guys, when I heard Omi's voice.   
  
"Sorry, sir, but the shop is closed now."   
  
Huh?   
  
"Hey, Omi, it's just me!"   
  
CRASH!   
  
At the sound of my voice, Omi drops the flowerpot he was holding.   
  
He turns around, and his mouth drops open. I've never seen him look so pale in my life.   
  
"K-k- _Ken-kun_?!"   
  
"What? You didn't think I'd keep the kids out in the rain, did you?" I ask nervously. Somehow, I get the impression that he didn't think I ought to still be playing soccer.   
  
"Rain?" He asks, backing up a little, "Heh…heh…what rain?" Why is Omi laughing like that?   
  
"Uh, Yohji? Could you come here a minute?" Omi yells down the hallway.   
  
"Sure thing kiddo! Whadda ya need the Yohji-meister for….Holy SHIT!"   
  
That last bit would signal Yohji's reaction to looking up and noticing me.   
  
"Um, guys? What's wrong? Why do you both look like you've seen a ghost, or something?"   
  
Uh oh. From the looks they're giving me, that wasn't the best wording I could have used.   
  
"Cause we _have_ seen a ghost!" Yohji yells, a finger shakily pointing at me, "And he's fucking _talking_ to us!!!"   
  
I frown. "What the hell are you talking about?!"   
  
"Um, Ken kun…." Omi takes a few steps forward again. "I don't know how to tell you this…but…you're, uh….well, _dead_."   
  
  
  
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Okay, I aim to make the average chapter length about twice as long as this, but I thought that was a nice-cliffhanger to leave this one at. Dun-dun-dun!   
  
  



	2. Who's Ran?

  
  
  
Dead? Right. Ha ha. Very funny.   
  
"Come on guys, 'make Ken feel like an idiot day' was last month, remember? You two knocked me out and I woke up in the middle of the park wearing a _dress_! It's not fair to mess with me again so soon!"   
  
"What are you talking about?" asks Omi.   
  
"We didn't do that." Yohji adds, "We haven't messed with you since Ran kicked our asses for it."   
  
Ran? Who the heck is Ran?!   
  
"Geeze, if you're going to lie to me, the least you two could do is use someone I actually know in your excuse."   
  
"What do you mean someone you know?" Omi asks with a very convincing look of puzzlement on his face-if I didn't know what good actors these guys are, I'd actually believe him…. "You and Ran are…."   
  
Yohji crosses his arms. "Are you telling me, that you don't even remember the guy you _took a bullet for_?!" He walks over and taps on my head "What, does being dead cause amnesia or something?"   
  
"I'm NOT dead!" I'm getting a bit exasperated here. "Do I fucking feel like I'm dead?!" With that I punch Yohji in the arm. I admit I did it with a bit more force than needed to prove my point, but I'm getting really tired of these stupid pranks he keeps devising.   
  
Instead of getting angry, Yohji just looks thoughtful. "No, I must admit you're quite a bit more solid then I'd expect a ghost to be. But then, you're the first ghost I ever met, so go figure."   
  
"Would you stop poking me?!!"   
  
Yohji finally backs off. "Geeze. Who would have thought that dying would make you so bitchy." He gives me another weird look. "And wet. Is it standard procedure for ghosts to come back to haunt people soaking wet?"   
  
I close my eyes and grit my teeth. This is getting really old. "I. Am. Not. Dead. You. Imbecilic. Neanderthal." Hm, maybe I should use shorter words when insulting Yohji. Oh well.   
  
"Maybe I should show him the mission report?" Omi asks, turning to Yohji.   
  
"Hm, good idea." He responds, and Omi dashes up the stairs.   
  
A short minute later Omi is already back and hands me an official looking document. It's dated about four months ago.   
  
_Report for mission 1583   
  
Mission successful but with casualties. The government conspirators were eliminated, but not before one target managed to deliver a fatal hit. The shot was aimed at Abyssinian, but intercepted by Siberian who intentionally blocked it. A Kritiker helicopter immediately arrived on the scene, and delivered Siberian to medical facilities, where he was pronounced dead upon arrival. Abyssinian has requested that no replacement be sent for Siberian's position, and the request is currently under review. Cover up for the deaths will be carried out by….._   
  
Okay, now I _know_ they're joshing me. They're trying to tell me that not only am I _dead_ but I willingly died for _Aya_?! AYA?!   
  
Okay, I can almost see myself taking a bullet for Omi. I can picture accidentally getting hit while trying to help Yohji….but _intentionally_ dying for _Aya_?! The guy who barely even acknowledges I exist?! The one who tried to kill me the first time I ever even saw him?! Mr. I'm-too-good-for-friends-so-back-the-hell-off ?! Right. What is this, the Twilight Zone?!   
  
"Okay, I admit you guys really went all out for this one. I can't believe you even took the trouble to make a fake mission report. And having me die for _Aya_, that's a good one. Very funny guys, haha."   
  
"What's so funny about you dying for Ran?" Omi asks, still pulling off that oh-so-convincing look of puzzlement. "And why do you keep using his old name? You haven't called him Aya, since…."   
  
Yohji interupts him. "Yeah, man. That's _cold_."   
  
I open my mouth to once again ask them just what the hell they're talking about when another loud crash distracts me.   
  
The topic of our conversation is standing in the doorway. Thousands of shards of glass around his feet show that he had been holding a vase before the shattering noise alerted us to his presence.   
  
If I thought Omi looked pale, it was _nothing_ compared to the shade Aya's just turned.   
  
"K-Ken?" He asks, uncertainly.   
  
"Uh. Yeah, it's me." I answer. My nervousness is returning. Aya's never joined in on Yohji and Omi's pranks before. Suddenly my stomach isn't feeling so good.   
  
The next minute my neck isn't feeling so good either. Aya's strangling me! Shit, what did I do to piss him off like this?! Uh wait. He isn't strangling me…he's….   
  
_hugging me?!!_   
  
Jesus! Is it the end of the world?!! Aya Hugging?! And wait now he's….   
  
Holy fucking shit.   
  
My teammate has just shoved his tongue down my throat.   
  
Um. Ew.   
  
Joke or not, it has definitely just crossed the line.   
  
I pause for a minute and wonder how much Yohji must have had to pay him in order to get Aya to participate in such an extreme prank. The fact that I'm incapable of imagining _any_ sum that would persuade Aya to kiss someone-let alone ME-is not making me feel any better.   
  
I suddenly realize that my wandering mind has allowed Aya to continue sucking on my face for a good minute and a half. Which is precisely a minute and a half longer than I'm comfortable with.   
  
I regain my wits and push him off.   
  
"What the fuck are you doing?!"   
  
In one second flat I witness Aya's face drop from an expression of untainted joy to one of pure and utter blind rage.   
  
Uh oh.   
  
"What am _I_ doing?" Aya replies, voice trembling with anger. "What are YOU doing! Did you come back just to _hurt_ me? Did you think I didn't suffer enough when you went and fucking DIED? How _dare_ you! How _dare_ you get yourself killed like that you selfish ASSHOLE!"   
  
Shit. Aya's _crying_.   
  
"I hate you. You should have let me die!"   
  
::Thwap:: _Aya punches me._   
  
"I never asked you to save me!"   
  
::Thwap:: _Another hit._   
  
"You fucking leave me to live without you and then you come back just to fucking _push me away_?!"   
  
::Thwap:: _Funny, I don't seem to have it in me to defend myself._   
  
"Did dying turn you into some sort of sadist?!"   
  
::Thwap::   
  
"Fuck you, Hidaka!"   
  
::Thwap::   
  
"I hate you now!"   
  
::Thwap:: _But before he….?_   
  
"GET OUT!!"   
  
I barely even register him roughly shoving me in the direction of the door. I feel too ill to move though.   
  
I pleadingly look towards Yohji and Omi for support, but they both look really sad…and…_dissapointed in me_?   
  
Yohji's slowly shaking his head as if to say, 'Sorry man, we'd like to back you up, but we've gotta side with Aya on this one. He sort of outranks you…still being alive and all.'   
  
"But Aya, I don't…."   
  
"Oh, so I'm 'AYA' now, am I?!" He shoves me again, even rougher. "I'm no longer good enough for you to call me by my real name anymore, huh?!"   
  
_Real name?_   
  
::Shove::   
  
"Thank you Ken, for _ruining_ my life." His voice has become dangerously calm all of the sudden. Calm Aya is even scarier than raging Aya. "Now get the fuck out of my sight. I don't care if you're already dead. If I ever so much as _see_ you again, I'll kill you myself."   
  
Before I know it, the door has been slammed in my face, and I find myself teetering on the Koneko's front stoop.   
  
Well shit.   
  
I do believe…that has just replaced Kase's death as the single most disturbing experience of my life.   
  
What the hell is going on?!!!   
  
For lack of any other ideas of what to do, I end up walking back to the park.   
I'm really shaken.   
  
That was _scary_. I've never seen Aya like that before. He just _lost_ it. I've never seen him so…._emotional_ like that. And because of _me_?! It just doesn't make sense….Sure we've fought before. But they were _physical_ fights. Omi is the only one I've ever seen illicit any sort of emotional reaction from him, and that was _nothing_ compared to the scene I just witnessed.   
  
To say I'm confused right now would be the understatement of the year.   
  
I'm already starting to question if that really happened.   
  
Maybe I hallucinated it?   
Could I have been drugged again?   
Perhaps one of the sports drinks I drank this morning had something weird in it…like that stuff Yuriko always liked.   
Or maybe I hit my head during soccer practice?   
There's got to be _some_ sort of reasonable explanation.   
  
Maybe I've just gone crazy.   
  
That would surprise me less than Aya kissing me.   
  
_Good god. What twisted part of my subconscious would have come up with the idea of Aya wanting to kiss me, anyway?! The implications he was giving me….Yeep._   
  
Yeah, I definitely had to have imagined all that. I bet I'm suffering from some sort of mission-induced post traumatic stress, or something.   
  
Yeah, that MUST be it.   
  
Cause I'm sure as all hell that I'm not dead. And I'm pretty dang sure there's nothing fishy going on between me an Aya, either. At least I don't think so. Right?   
  
Damn, that was fucking weird.   
  
No, I definitely imagined that.   
  
And just to prove it myself, I'll go back to the shop.   
  
Everything will be normal there, I just know it.   
  
Omi will be doing his homework. Yohji will be trying to distract him. Aya will be silent and not care one way or the other if I'm home or not. _Normal._   
  
Right?   
  
Why then does my stomach feel like I just swallowed a ton of cement?   
  
Maybe I haven't been getting enough sleep these days. There we go. I'll make sure to take a nap when I get back. And I'll be careful to take it easy the next few days. Righto.   
  
Then I'll definitely feel better.   
  
Glad I got all that settled.   
  
Still.   
  
Imagined or not…that image of an enraged and tear-streaked Aya is permanently burned into my memory. It'll be a cold day in hell before I'll forget _that_. Man.   
  
Before I know it, I'm already back and standing in front of the Koneko.   
This time I open the door a little more timidly.   
  
"Uh…guys?"   
  
"Sorry, we're closed."   
  
That voice.   
  
That's not Aya's or Yohji's voice.   
  
It sounds like….   
  
The man before me turns around and folds his arms over his chest while observing my blandly. "Well?"   
  
Oh. My. God.   
  
"_Kase?!!_"   
  
  
  
  
  
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Heh, heh. Aren't cliffhanger's fun? 


	3. Sick

  
  
Thanks for all the spiffy reviews!   
  
**Misura:** Please don't hate me! But….Ken's never gonna see that Ran again. He changed realities already. That encounter mainly served as a catalyst to give Kenken something to think about while he's trying to get home. I know you tend to like happier stories…I'm afraid that the majority of my humor in this one's gonna be on the dark side. I hope you stick it out ;_: I do always promise happy endings though (I'm not _that_ mean! Just quasi-mean, heh.)   
  
* * *   
  
  
  
  
"Do I know you?"   
  
….!   
  
"Well? I haven't got all day, I was just about to get off."   
  
"…I don't know…" I begin, guardedly, "_Do_ you know me?"   
  
"I don't think so. _You're_ the one who knew _my_ name."   
  
"I don't look familiar at all?"   
  
He studies me for a moment, all the while looking thoroughly bored.   
  
"Mmm….Nope."   
  
"My name's _Ken_."   
  
"Hmm."   
  
Ah ha! A reaction! Er, sorta.   
  
His bored expression briefly turns to one of thoughtfulness.   
  
"Huh. I knew a Ken once."   
  
"_Knew_?"   
  
"Yes, _knew_."   
  
"Why 'knew'?"   
  
"Well, you'll have to admit it's rather hard to keep in touch with _dead_ people."   
  
Dead eh?! I got him!   
  
"Died in _a fire_?!" I can't mask the accusing tone to my voice.   
  
"Uh, no."   
  
"Shot?"   
  
"No. Why are you so interested? Hey, did I know you in school or something?"   
  
"Er…yeah. I went to school with you guys….and I was, uh, friends with Ken."   
  
"Hahaha!"   
  
"What's so funny?!"   
  
Kase laughs a minute more before composing himself. This is too weird.   
  
"That's a good one buddy, Ken didn't have any other friends. Just me. I'm quite sure about that!"   
  
Hey! I did too have other friends!   
  
"So how did he die then?"   
  
Kase suddenly looks extremely serious. "You're really interested aren't you? He drowned. When we were eight."   
  
_I drowned?!_   
  
"How'd that happen?"   
  
Kase has now gone from looking serious, to a bit green. His arms slide down from over his chest to his stomach. His voice is much quieter than before.   
  
"We were….rough-housing in the water…I pushed him under…and…he didn't…he didn't come up again. I think there was an undertow or something."   
  
"Oh."   
  
So not only am I supposedly dead right now, but I was killed _twice_? And here I am talking to a man I _know_ I killed, but from what he's telling me I couldn't have killed him because supposedly he had already killed me first--before I could grow up to kill him? A conversation between two dead men…each responsible for the other's deaths. Now I _know_ I'm hallucinating this.   
  
But, I have a really distinct impression that this is _not_ the same Kase I killed. His eyes are different….and I know I'm overly trusting, but…I really feel he's telling the truth.   
  
"So, um…" It's obvious he wants to change the subject, "Were you looking for flowers today? I uh, recommend chrysanthemums. They're my favorite."   
  
"No. I was…uh, looking for Yohji, actually."   
  
Kase's eye's immediately narrow and fill with suspicion.   
  
"Yohji, eh? You're awful interested in dead people, aren't you?"   
  
Dead?! "Yohji's _dead_?!"   
  
"Yeah, and as I've never seen you come round the shop before, I'm rather curious to find out just how you knew Yohji, too."   
  
"I ah…er…"   
  
"You work for Schwartz, don't you!" I see Kase slowly flexing and unflexing his right hand. Something I immediately recognize as _my own_ nervous habit of when I'm caught without my bugnuks. Eep.   
  
"No!" I feel cornered. "I….I'm with Kritiker!"   
  
"Prove it."   
  
"This shop!" I'm getting a bit frantic… "This shop, it's actually a cover-up for an organization named Weiß! And…you get your missions from a man named Persia, and…." I _really_ hope, my next hunch is right, "You--your code name is _Siberian_, isn't it?"   
  
Arms re-fold across Kase's chest, and I hear him chuckle quietly.   
  
"Okay, I believe you. You're way too nervous to be one of Schwartz."   
  
"So, um, what happened to Yohji?"   
  
Instead of answering me, Kase mimes stabbing himself in the stomach. I watch in horror as he violently jerks the invisible blade to the side before drawing up and ending well into his chest   
  
"He _killed himself_?!" I can't believe that! Yohji has _never_ struck me as the suicidal type! He's too…well…easygoing!   
  
"He sure did! And with Aya's katana, too! Man, was _that_ a nasty mess, let me tell you! It took two weeks to get rid of all the blood. We kept finding splatters we missed on the wall paper, for _days_ afterward…."   
  
Why does Kase look amused, like he's just telling a good bar story, or something?! This is sick…   
  
"It must have hurt like a motherfuckin' bitch too!" He continues, stroking his chin, "Traditionally, when you commit seppuku, you're supposed to have a friend stand by to chop off your head afterwards. To make it quick, ya know? But Yohji knew we'd refuse to do that, so he just did it alone. It must have been really slow and horrible, heh"   
  
I'm completely stunned. Yohji dead? By _suicide_? And by a _painful_ one at that! It just doesn't add up! Somehow, I'd expect Yohji to do himself in with alcohol or drugs or something….not with _Aya's Katana_.   
  
"I don't know what to say…um, I'm really sorry to hear that."   
  
Kase just shrugs. "Eh, it's what he wanted."   
  
I'm _really_ not liking this version of Kase. Well, the other version of Kase's not exactly any better though.   
  
"I bet Aya was pissed as hell about him doing it with his Katana." I mutter, more to myself than to Kase.   
  
"Oh, he was hardly missing it." Kase replies mysteriously.   
  
"Huh?"   
  
"For a Kitiker agent, you're not very well informed."   
  
I impulsively grab him by the shirt. "Kase, what happened to Aya?!"   
  
I suddenly feel _really_ ill. I still can't shake that image of a crying Aya out of my head. I was hoping to see him again, and make some sort of amends, I….   
  
"Dead."   
  
How can he sound so matter-of-fact about it?!   
  
"No…."   
  
"Oh, he is very thoroughly dead, believe me. That's _why_ Yohji used his katana. Thought it would be symbolic or some romantic crap like that."   
  
"Uh. _Romantic_?"   
  
"You heard me, bud. I had my suspicions before, but Yohji's reaction to Aya's untimely demise erased any remaining doubt that there was something sketchy going down between those two. Of the 'more than just friends' type, if ya-know-what-I-mean."   
  
Fuck. I want to wipe that all-knowing smirk off the bastard's face. I have to literally restrain myself from smacking him away when he nudges me in the side. I hate him all over again!   
  
"How. Um, how did Aya die?" I choke out.   
  
"Oh, the expected. Botched mission. The target was expecting us, and had a goon hiding in the back file room. While Aya was attending to the target, the goon snuck up from behind and _chink_…" Here Kase makes a ominous twisting motion with his wrist, "stabbed in the back, so-to-speak."   
  
Oh _shit_. I _remember_ that mission! But it didn't end that way! It didn't! I was guarding Aya, and saw the attacker at the last minute! I had him skewered before he even _touched_ Aya! But if Kase was the one on watch and not _me_. Oh god.   
  
"I tell ya," Kase continues, chatting away as if he were discussing the fucking world cup or something, "That guy musta been trained in ninjitsu or somethin'! We never even heard him coming until it was bye-bye Ay-"   
  
_I_ heard him! God, this can't be real, it just can't….   
  
"What about Omi?!" I suddenly think to ask. "Don't tell me he's dead too?!"   
  
"Hm, Omi? Na, he's still alive and kicking. Did you want to see him?"   
  
"Um, yeah. I would." Maybe Omi will give me some less aggravating answers.   
  
"Hey, squirt! There's someone down here that wants to see ya!" I cringe at the nickname Kase uses. Omi hates childish nicknames. Only Yohji ever got away with using them.   
  
I hear some shuffling and the door slowly opens.   
  
Oh my god. Omi.   
  
This is _not_ Omi. It can't be. His eyes…they look…_dead_. And his arms. He has very suspicious looking scars running down the underside of each arm. Like he…like he tried to…..   
  
No.   
  
This _can't_ be Omi.   
  
"Who are you?"   
  
The emotionless tone of Omi's voice is more than I can bare.   
  
I turn and run out of the shop.   
  
I don't look back.   
  
  
  
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Oooh, now that was a harsh chapter. But the next reality's gonna be really interesting, heh heh. So stay tuned folks!   
  



	4. A peculiar Yohji

  
  
  
_This isn't happening. It's not real. I'm asleep. I'm hallucinating. No one's dead! I'm not dead!_   
  
I suddenly get a vision of a movie I watched with Omi last month. It was about this entire family that lived in a house and they thought they were being haunted, but all along _they_ were actually the ghosts, but they never realized it! And then there was that older movie I watched with Yohji where the man was dead and had no idea! Come to think of it, in _most_ good ghost stories the ghost always thinks they're alive! Oh god oh god oh god oh---   
  
Run faster! The more I move, the less I think!   
  
I concentrate on the noise of my shoes pounding against the pavement. There! A ghost wouldn't make noise by running! _But maybe I'm just imagining the noise, and no one else can hear it._   
  
As long as I keep running, I'll be okay! I'll just never stop, and then I'll never have to think about this! Um. That has got to be the most retarded idea I ever came up with. I can already hear Yohji's voice in my head, mocking me; _What, does being dead make you stupid, too?!_   
  
"But _I'M NOT DEAD_!"   
  
Oh crap. I didn't mean to say that aloud.   
  
_Shut up Ken, and keep moving._   
  
Ooh, my head hurts. I'm definitely losing it.   
  
Add another mark to the 'stupid-Ken tally.' In an attempt to block out my disturbing thoughts I scrunch my eyes shut. But I forget to stop running and---   
  
_SMACK!_   
  
Classic Ken, just classic. Even dead I'm a klutz.   
  
I hesitate opening my eyes. The object I ran into was fairly soft, and had a distinct person-y feel to it. I'm not really in a good mental state to talk to anyone right now. Maybe if I just sit here with my eyes shut they'll go away? Now there's _another_ brilliant thought. I'm on a roll.   
  
I start by cautiously opening one eye. Whoever I ran into is standing right over me, their hands menacingly placed on their hips. Scary!   
I gulp and open the other eye. The shadow looming over me slides into focus. It looks sorta familiar. It looks like….   
  
YOHJI!   
  
Oh my god, I _never_ thought I would be this happy to see annoying-old-Yohji! But wait, what's that he's holding?   
  
_A katana!!!_   
  
Shit! Did I go back in time or something? Did all this weird stuff happen just so I could go back and stop Yohji from killing himself?!   
  
If that's the case, _why am I still sitting here on the ground like a fucking idiot?!!_   
  
I spring to my feet and tackle the arm holding on to Aya's weapon. Yohji lets out a yelp of surprise, and the force sends us both keeling over backwards, landing rather painfully on the ground.   
_Funny, the ground ought to have been more painful than that though. I thought I was running on pavement just now? But we landed in the dirt!_   
  
No time to worry about that, I have to save Yohji!   
  
He's got a vice-grip on the blasted thing. Does he really want to die that badly? _And all because of -Aya--?!_   
  
All my twisting and pulling seems useless though. I thought I was stronger than him! I'm the one with the short-range weapon!   
  
Well, normally I wouldn't fight dirty, but I AM trying to save his life here, so….   
  
"YOWTCH!"   
  
Heh, heh. Worked like a charm.   
  
"You freak! You _bit_ me!" Yohji recoils back from me, cradling his now katana-less hand against his chest. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!!"   
  
"What's wrong with _me_?! Is there something 'wrong' in caring about your friends?! I was trying to save your life, you ungrateful cretin!"   
  
::blink blink::   
  
"Uh. Save my life?"   
  
"Yeah," I reply, a little less certain of my previous convictions, "I thought….weren't you…about to kill yourself?"   
  
Yohji suddenly bursts into a laughing fit so violent he falls back into the dirt.   
  
Christ, you'd think I'd get a little credit for being worried.   
  
"You thought…-ha ha ha-….that I was….-snort-….about to….-heh-…._kill_ my...-snerk-…self?!"   
  
"Um, weren't you?" I ask, uncertainly.   
  
"Of course not! What on earth gave you that idea?!"   
  
"The sword! You were holding a katana, and I thought-"   
  
Yohji gives me a weird look. "You thought I was going to kill myself just because I was holding a Katana? What, do you tackle every person you meet?"   
  
"What do you mean?" That was a weird answer….   
  
"Well, just about _everyone_ carries a katana. I hope you don't run around trying to save the lives of every single person walking down the street, you're gonna get pretty tired…."   
  
_Everyone carries a katana?!_ I look down at the weapon I wrestled away from Yohji. It's not Aya's. I've never seen this sword before in my life. Oops.   
  
Yohji's tone is now very serious, and he places his hands on my shoulders. "If anyone here has a death-wish, my friend, I'm afraid it's _you_."   
  
"Wait-what do you mean by that?!"   
  
Yohji gestures towards my shirt. "Your clothes. No one would dress like that unless they wanted to be arrested and publicly executed."   
  
"My--_my clothes_?!" I suddenly take a better look at Yohji and place what it was that bothered me about him. His clothes are too baggy! I've never seen him dress like that before! And-they're not just different because they're baggy….they're not normal clothes at all! Yohji's wearing a _hakama and gi_!   
  
Looking up, I notice that his hair is longer than usual, too. I couldn't tell at first, because the strands in front of his ears are their normal length…but, when I look at the back-it's in a long ponytail….   
  
Why…why does Yohji look like he just stepped out of the Edo period?!   
  
I stop focusing on Yohji, and finally take in my surroundings. It's not just Yohji that's caught in a time warp! The buildings are all low and made of paper and wood! It looks like the historic district in Kyoto….yet, there's not even pavement on the roads! Or telephone wires, or….   
  
"Yohji! What year is it? Why does it look like the eighteenth century?!"   
  
Well, that certainly got his attention.   
  
He pulls me further to the side of the alley and crouches behind some crates.   
  
"_Eighteenth century_ you say? You're definitely not from around here, are you? Most people here have never even heard of the Western calendar before."   
  
He looks me over, in a creepy, sort of evaluating manner, muttering to himself. "…Knew my name, too….Geeze, I knew I was unpopular around Edo, never dreamed my infamy went all the way out of Japan…."   
  
Outside of Japan? What the hell is he talking about?!   
  
"Look, I don't know what makes you think it's the eighteenth century, but it's the twenty first. And if you want to make it any further into the future, you'd better follow me home so I can put you in something less conspicuous. You're damn lucky you ran into me. The average person would have taken off in terror at the site of you and fetched the police. Fortunately, I have no honor to sully, so I'm not afraid to be caught associating with the 'wrong sort'--though, once I've got you fixed up you may want to avoid being seen with _me_. Come on."   
  
Okay, it's official. The world has gone fucking mad.   
  
I don't fight it.   
  
* * *   
  
The next few moments play out like a bad spy movie. Yohji peers around a corner. When he thinks the coast is clear, he waves frantically at me before running like a bat out of hell and then skidding to a stop and diving behind a bush, or cart, or insert-convenient-hiding-place-here. And to think that in the un-insane world this man was supposed to have been a detective. Christ.   
  
By the time we reach the wall that apparently signals our destination, I'm so covered in dust that I sincerely doubt anyone could tell I'm dressed strange anymore.   
  
Yohji stops and laces his fingers together, holding them out to me expectantly. Like…he expects me to…step on them? Oh, he has got to be kidding. _We're going OVER the wall?!_   
  
"What are you waiting for?!" He hisses, "Over!"   
  
"But….shouldn't _I_ be the one helping _you_ get over? I mean, you're wearing _sandals_!!"   
  
Yohji just looks at me like I'm stupid.   
  
"I'm also wearing tabis! Which are _better_ for climbing them your weird shoes! Now GET!"   
  
Before I even have a chance to start, Yohji grabs me and attempts to _throw_ me over the wall. But he's not nearly strong enough, and I just barely manage to grasp a bit of the wall and avoid landing on his head (and probably breaking his neck.) God, this Yohji is a friggin' nut case.   
  
Without too much effort I pull myself over and drop down onto the moss below. As I suspected, Yohji has a bit more trouble accomplishing the feat. Several minutes of scuffling and muffled curses elapse before Yohji's head (with sandals in mouth) finally appears. It's another several minutes of scuffling and mumbling before he manages to roll himself over the top and rather painfully fall over the edge. I get a bad feeling he does this on a regular basis too.   
  
"Are you alright?" I ask the moderately battered Yohji laying on the ground.   
  
He instantly springs up and clamps his hand over my mouth.   
  
"Sshh! Questions later! Follow!"   
  
Grabbing my arm, he drags me behind a low and meticulously pruned pine tree. Didn't we already do this?   
  
Dash to a quince bush. Stop. Look around. Crawl on hands and knees behind an azalea hedge. Pause at end. Check. Run over to large rock. Catch breath. Look around. On to next rock. Stop. Persimmon tree next. Stop. And on and on and on. Damn, this is a large garden! Is Yohji rich? And why do we still have to hide now that we're in Yohji's yard, anyway?!   
  
"Okay, wait here!"   
  
Huh? I look up and realize we've come to the house. Dang, it's huge!   
  
"Wow, is this really your hou---mpffft"   
  
Hand over mouth again. Sigh.   
  
"No. Talk. Till. Inside. Got it?"   
  
"Mrrpft."   
  
"Good."   
  
I just roll my eyes.   
  
"Now stay here. When you hear a screen opening, run inside quick. Okay?"   
  
I nod.   
  
Yohji leaves me crouching below the porch, presumably to go in through the front entrance. A few minutes later I hear the screen sliding open and I climb up onto the porch and dart inside. The screen has barely been closed when I feel myself being tackled and stripped.   
  
Gah! Don't tell me Yohji's now in love with me too?! What the hell did I do to deserve this?!   
  
Oh wait. The stripping stops as soon as he's wrestled my boots off. He looks at me apologetically.   
  
"Sorry, but I didn't feel like spending the rest of the afternoon scrubbing mud out of the tatami."   
  
Obviously. I was going to take them off anyway, you know. Psycho.   
  
"Hang on a sec, and I'll give you something to change into."   
  
Yohji turns and walks across the room to a built-in closet. It doesn't take him very long. The room is only four tatami mats large.   
  
The room is almost empty. The floor contains only a small table with a rather rugged looking tea bowl on it. The walls are empty except for a single scroll; a simple sumi-e rendition of an orchid. The signature on the painting looks suspiciously like Yohji's.   
  
The closet Yohji is currently rummaging through houses only a few folded garments and a rolled-up futon.   
  
"Um, can I talk now?" I ask cautiously.   
  
"Quietly, yes." Yohji answers, tossing me a light green gi.   
  
"Where are we?" That seems like a good place to start.   
  
"My room." He replies pulling out a brown hakama, and handing it to me.   
  
Woah. I can maybe picture Aya living in a room like this. But Yohji? This is sooo not a Yohji place to live. It's too…neat.   
  
"Why do you have such a small room, when your house is so big?" That was probably rude, but the question just slips out. I forget that this Yohji doesn't seem to know me.   
  
"Not my house, my father's. And in his eyes I'm just an ungrateful freeloader; lucky to have a place to sleep at all, really. Now, don't you have more pressing questions to ask than that? Because if you don't, I have a couple."   
  
"Well actually, I---" Not even half a question gets out before Yohji interrupts. He's slowly walking around me in a circle, and looking me over like I was some oddity at the zoo. It's seriously creeping me out.   
  
"Damn, if I didn't know better, I'd _swear_ you were Japanese." He mutters to himself, "Not even a hint of an accent, and you barely strike me as Chinese, but…that's got to be it. What part of China are you from?"   
  
Huh? _China?!_ "What in the blazes makes you think I'm _Chinese_?!"   
  
"Well you're obviously not Dutch" is his simple reply. Now just what is that supposed to mean? Of course I'm not Dutch!   
  
"Why would you think I was Chinese _or_ Dutch? I'm Japanese!"   
  
"Like hell you are. You don't strike me as a merchant though…. Were you a stowaway? It's been months since the ports were open, how'd you survive?"   
  
"Huh? What are you talking about?"   
  
"And how did you get so fluent without learning a thing about the country? Surely _someone_ must have warned you about the risk of coming here?"   
  
"What?"   
  
"And finally, this one's been killing me: I'm used to being recognized by _local_ strangers and all, but how did _you_ know who I was?!"   
  
Uh oh. How do I answer that question? _I know you from a futuristic world where we arrange flowers and kill people?_ Yeah, as if he doesn't already think I'm nuts.   
  
"Um, Yohji? Maybe we should sit down. I think we're going to have a very long talk."   
  
  
  
  
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Ooh, I love this reality, it's what motivated me to start this story when I should be working on others. There's at least another (and maybe more) chapter of this reality. The next reality will give Ken some answers about what's happening to him….although, I don't know how long it will take me to get to that point. School looms ever closer to starting again, and once I'm back there my progress will slow considerably (as if I'm not slow already). But I'm really into this story (I think it's my favorite so far) so maybe I'll keep up a decent pace after all (no promises though).   
  
Just a note: Very small change in the previous chapter. I realized after posting that I got Kase's impression of Seppuku slightly out of order, so I fixed it to be more accurate.   
  
  
**Miki Tree:** Uh, no mistakes? You're not looking hard enough, I'm afraid. They're there. I never bothered with a beta reader. Bad Sky Rat, bad. But thanks ever so much for the compliments! ^_^   
  
**Misura:** Yes, Kase was supposed to creep you out. He's not good or bad in the chapter, just not very caring. He looks out for number one, you know? But he did feel guilty about Ken dying so there is a conscience down there….somewhere…. I hope you agree that this reality is better than this one. Although not particuarly happy (you'll see why) but not nearly as bad as that one. Afraid you're still not going to like what I've got planned for Omi, though. I'm going to have to come up with a happy Omi somewhere along the line. Er, I'll try at least (happy Omi's are just -so- hard for me to write. Sigh.)   
  
  
* * * 


	5. My Yohji?

  
  
"If it was anyone _but_ me you were showing this stuff to, I'd believe you in a second."   
  
Yohji is currently sifting through the contents of my wallet. He keeps gravitating back to my credit and library cards in awe.   
  
"I mean, if this is a prank, it's really first class." He says, running his finger over the embossed numbers on my bank card. "Plastic is so _rare_, this would have cost a…."   
  
I interrupt him. "Why would it be a prank?"   
  
"Well, if it _is_ one, you already know…" The look of awe drops off his face, quickly replaced with a much more depressed expression, "but if anyone was going to pull something this elaborate, I'd be the first target."   
  
"Besides," he adds, "you _did_ know my name, which was kinda suspicious…."   
  
"I already explained that!" I can't help interrupting him again, "There's another version of you where I'm from! We're good friends, and we even live together, and-"   
  
"I know, I know, you told me that." Yohji says, dismissing my outburst with a wave, "But I can't help it. I'm just not used to people talking to me if they don't _have_ to…" he breaks eye contact and looks off at the wall behind me, "…or if they're not saying something mean to me…." Yohji trails off, putting down the bank card and sadly leaning against his right arm which was propped against the table.   
  
"But _why_?" I ask. This is just too weird. A socially shunned Yohji?! No way. "The Yohji I know is so popular…._Why_ don't people like you here?!"   
  
"Me, _popular_?" Yohji asks with a bitter laugh. "Now I _know_ you're just messing with me."   
  
Any irritation I have ever felt for my Yohji (and there has been quite a bit) melts away with the hurt I see reflected in this Yohji's eyes.   
  
"I swear, I'm not." I say solemnly, crawling around to Yohji's side of the table. "Yohji's my friend. Even if you're not the same Yohji, you're my friend too, okay?"   
  
"If you say so." Yohji replies half-heartedly.   
  
"No, look," I say, and hug him. "I wouldn't be willing to do that if I was just out to hurt you, would I?"   
  
"It depended on how badly you wanted to hurt me." Yohji answers. He crosses his arms over his chest protectively. "For all I know, you just want to build up my trust so that I'll feel even shittier when you turn around and laugh at me. Sorry to be so cynical, but _no one_ has ever wanted _anything_ to do with me. It's just the way things are."   
  
"I swear, I'm telling the truth. I was betrayed by my own best friend-there's nothing I hate worse than people who lie."   
  
Yohji just looks at me skeptically and waits for me to continue.   
  
"Remember when I first saw you? I thought you were about to kill yourself! I was scared as hell! Scared because I thought _you_ were about to die!" I say, pointing at him, "I couldn't have faked how scared I was!"   
  
"That is true..." Yohji looks thoughtful, "you were definitely freaked out when I first saw you…."   
  
"I _swear_ I…."   
  
"Okay, okay, no need to keep repeating yourself. Look, I want to believe you. I _think_ I will believe you. I'll give you a warning first, though. If, after I decide to trust you, I find out you're lying, I _will_ kill you. So if this is some sick joke, you better tell me _now_, and I'll let you leave."   
  
I shake my head. "It's not."   
  
"Look me in the eyes and promise."   
  
I have looked Yohji in the eyes many times before, but I've never seen him look at me this intensely before. I feel like he's trying to look clear through me…as if, he could read my mind by simply staring hard enough. I can tell he's serious about killing me too. Gulp.   
  
"Cross my heart."   
  
Neither of us wants to break the eye contact first, so an awkward silent staring match follows. I want him to know that I meant it.   
  
"Now please, Yohji. I want to know why you think people would want to hurt you. I genuinely don't understand."   
  
He sighs, and tugs at one of the strands of hair in front of his ear. A look of utter revulsion briefly crosses his face when he looks at it.   
  
"Because," he says, tucking the strand behind his ear, "I shouldn't exist."   
  
"Huh?"   
  
"Listen, it's a long story. Why don't I go get some tea first, okay?"   
  
"Um, sure." I don't really know how I should answer that. What does he mean he shouldn't exist?   
  
Yohji pulls his futon from the closet and lays it out in the corner. There's so little room now that he has to step on it in order to get past the table.   
  
"I'll just be a few minutes. Go ahead and get comfortable, but don't leave my room, all right?"   
  
"Okay." I answer obediently, and sit down on the futon. Weird, I never thought about it, but it's been several years since I last used a futon. It feels strange being so close to the floor.   
  
I take advantage of Yohji's absence to change into the clothes he gave me. They'll take some getting used to. There's so much fabric….500 yen says I'll trip within ten minutes of trying to walk in these things.   
  
I start analyzing my surroundings to pass the time. So this is Yohji's room, huh? It's so different from his personality. I mean, the personality I'm used to….   
Man, my Yohji would totally flip out if he saw this….   
_My Yohji? _   
Er…even in my mind that sounded wrong.   
But for all I know, I've _lost_ my mind. So I'm not gonna worry about it.   
Righto.   
  
Hey this futon is actually pretty comfy.   
  
It's been a stressful afternoon. It wouldn't hurt if I just closed my eyes for a minute….   
  
* * *   
  
I wake up to two green eyes five inches from my face.   
  
"Shit Yohji! What are you doing in my room?! You almost gave me a heart attack, I-"   
  
Oh crap. I just remembered where I am.   
  
Hey maybe it was a dream! I sit up, and look around….   
  
Yohji's still wearing a hakama, and I'm still on a futon. Not a dream. Double crap.   
  
Yohji looks amused.   
  
"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you."   
  
"Why? So you could scrutinize my face?!"   
  
"You were talking in your sleep." Yohji answers, grinning, "I was trying to hear what you were saying."   
  
I talk in my sleep? Triple crap. "Uh, what did I say?"   
  
"Quit hogging the remote, Yohji, I want to check the soccer score!"   
  
Er, that _does_ sound like something I'd say.   
  
"I guess I _have_ to believe you now, you'd be a damn good actor to keep it up even in your sleep!" Yohji looks relieved. "So…what's a soccer?"   
  
"Something you hate." I don't feel like elaborating. It's _my_ turn to get questions answered.   
  
Yohji frowns. "I hate something important to you?"   
  
"Well, yeah." I answer, "Don't worry, I hate plenty of your stuff too."   
  
His frown deepens. "I thought you said we were good friends?"   
  
"We are! But, that doesn't mean we're exactly the same!"   
  
"Oh." Yohji's obviously confused. "I'm afraid I don't know much about having friends."   
  
Ouch. I almost feel bad about pressing my question. But I've got to find out what's the deal with this place.   
  
"_Why?!_ I just can't imagine people not liking you Yohji! What did you mean when you said you shouldn't exist?!"   
  
He gives me a sad smile. "It sounds like….in _your_ world….everywhere is the same?"   
  
"Not exactly. What do you mean?"   
  
"I mean," he clarifies, "that Japan is like other counties? That, for example, a Chinese person would know the same things as a Japanese person, or even a European person?"   
  
"More or less."   
  
"Well, _here_ Japan is separate. The government wants to keep our culture _pure_. Except for two merchant ships a year-one from China, and the other from Holland-there's _no_ interaction with the rest of the world at all."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"They say, that technology is _evil_. That other countries just want to weaken us, and adopting their ways would insult our ancestors."   
  
"You mean like how it was before Emperor Meiji Westernized?" I ask.   
  
"Emporer Meiji?" Yohji echoes. "There has never been an Emperor named Meiji. What are you talking about?"   
  
Oooh. Now I get it. No Meji restoration! Japan never modernized. The world as I knew it has never existed. Oh fuck.   
  
"It's a load of shit though." Yohji continues, "Technology comes through on those two ships. The government _knows_ what we're missing. They let some of it through. But only the richest, most important people have access. It helps the upper class stay in power. Most people….don't even know what the rest of the world is like."   
  
"So, I take it you're upper class?"   
  
"If I wasn't, I'd have been killed at birth." Yohji replies.   
  
"How come?"   
  
"How many Japanese people have you seen with blond hair?!" Yohji asks, almost exasperatedly. "I'm not 'pure Japanese'! I'm a freak!"   
  
"You're a natural blond?" I ask. I guess that must sound fairly stupid….   
  
"Why wouldn't I be?!"   
  
"I just always assumed you dyed your hair to look sexier."   
  
"SEXIER?!!" It looks like Yohji's eyes are about to pop right out of his head. "This doesn't make me look _sexier_," he tugs on his hair and points at it, "it's a big sign telling people to stay away from me! Do you _know_ what I would give to look _normal_?!!!"   
  
"Well, _no_. The Yohji in my world prides himself on being _better_ then everyone. He would hate to be considered 'normal'."   
  
"He seems strange! I wish….I wish I was that Yohji. He sounds so much _happier_ than me."   
  
"He's not." I answer seriously. "He _acts_ happy, but he's actually a very sad person. Something very bad happened to him once. He won't talk about it, but you can see it in his eyes."   
  
"Oh." Says Yohji, looking down at his lap. "I should have guessed. If it's not one thing, it's another. I really can't picture a happy version of myself, anyway."   
  
"Don't say that." I answer. In an attempt to be comforting (not my strongest forte) I place my hands over his. "I'd bet you're actually better off than the Yohji I know. Our world isn't very nice either."   
  
"How would you know?!" He asks, defensively. "Do you have any idea what it's like to be an outcast?!"   
  
"Yes I do." I look him straight in the eye. "My friend's betrayal left me publicly disgraced. I'm dead to the world. I've only got three friends…"   
  
"_Three_ friends! I would kill to have just _one_! You really can't know-"   
  
"You _do_ have one." I interrupt. "Now, please. You still haven't finished explaining everything to me. I want to know how you ended up with blond hair."   
  
"Okay." He sighs, "It's not that interesting, but, my grandfather was an ambassador who came on the yearly ship from Holland. He was stupid enough to bring his daughter along with him, and…."   
  
"And?"   
  
"He was assassinated by a fanatical separatist. His daughter was stranded alone, and if my father hadn't taken her in, she would have been killed shortly after."   
  
Woah. Sounds like a movie plot!   
  
"The original plan was for her to be sent home on the next ship that came, but she was very beautiful, and my disgusting father couldn't keep his grimy hands off her. He had saved her, so who was she to say no to him? You are looking at the unfortunate result of that outcome."   
  
"The family was utterly humiliated. My mother and I weren't allowed to leave the house at all. It wasn't safe. And to make things even worse, my stupid dad was already married. His wife was really bitter about the affair, so I suspect that she's the one who eventually tipped off the authorities."   
  
"Tipped off the authorities?"   
  
"Yeah," Yohji replies, "When I was five years old, my mom was exposed. Foreigners are forbidden, and she was legally executed. I was supposed to be killed too, but since dad's so important, they let me live. If he had been anyone else I'd be dead right now."   
  
"That's horrible." I whisper.   
  
"Oh it gets even better." He answers bitterly. "He let me live, but he hates me because I remind him of her."   
  
I try my best too look sympathetic. Man, I suck at the empathy thing. Omi's the one who should be here, especially since he's such good friends with Yohji (in the normal world). Yeah, Omi would have him smiling in five seconds flat….   
  
"Thanks to ol' dad I'm above the law. But I have nothing. I didn't even get the family name…."   
  
"You're not named Kudoh?"   
  
"I _am_ named Kudoh. But search me where they came up with that name. I suspect they probably picked it out of a hat. It wouldn't do for the distinguished family line to be tarnished with street trash like me."   
  
"Uh, what should your name have been?" This is so strange, I wonder if the Yohji in my world has the right name then?!   
  
"Oh, Takatori." Yohji casually stifles a yawn. "Hey, you want some of this tea I got? I'm afraid it's gotten cold by now…."   
  
_TAKATORI?!_ Ooooh, _shit_.   
  
  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
  
Woo-hoo! All this has been in my head for ages! But I just didn't have the time to sit down and write. Er, I still don't have the time. Tomorrow's homework didn't get done. Oh well. Heh.   
  
My my. I've really gotten a lot of people confused. The next time Ken changes realities, he's going to find out what's happening to him. I don't really want to give much away before then though. All I'm gonna say is that Ken keeps changing dimensions. It's the exact same world, but with different courses of history. He's been through three realities different than his own. There will be more. He doesn't know how it's happening or why…yet! You're gonna just have to wait till Ken finds out. 'Nuff said.   
  
  
**Sammi:** Chill! Don't worry, in-character, I don't believe that Omi would cut himself. It's not something the Omi Ken knows would have done. Ken couldn't handle that information either! But this Omi had an even suckier life than regular Omi! He never knew Ken (oh horrors!) and he lost both Aya and Yohji! Would you want to be left all alone with just a guy like Kase (shudder)? But since Omi's still alive there, it means Kase must have found and saved him. So he's not all bad either. It's just a crappy reality. Glad Ken didn't stay there.   
  
**Denisse:** You already know, cause I emailed you, but so everyone else knows; as per your request there will be a Schuldig chapter down the line. Glad you gave me the idea. It will be odd though (what in this story isn't?) Hope I don't disappoint you hardcore Schwartz fans (I don't usually write the Schwartz guys. Well not seriously, anyway.)   
  
**Marsupial:** Hey, I just re-read your bio and noticed you said you're taking some of your stories down. Why for wouldst thou do such a thing? Seriously you have some great stories.   
  
Okie Righty then. I'm sorry that I don't respond to every review. I appreciate every single one of them! But I feel I talk too much, so I make a real effort to keep my A/N down as much as possible. See you guys in the next chapter! ^_^   
  
  
* * * 


	6. Stranger and Stranger!

  
  
"Ken san?"   
  
"Ken san?"   
  
Huh? Oh. Yohji's talking to me. "What?"   
  
"Are you alright Ken san? You sort of spaced out for a minute there."   
  
No kidding! I think that last bit of info just sent my brain on overload. How can Yohji be a Takatori?! It doesn't make any sense at all. What am I thinking?! Of course it doesn't make sense. The fact that I'm sitting in a throw-back version of Japan and talking to a Yohji who looks more like Ruroni Kenshin than Yohji Kudoh…oooh boy…..I definitely need to stop expecting things to make sense. And what to do about this? Oh man oh man….Nothing. That's what I'll do. Yohji definitely does not need to hear about my take on things Takatori. Besides, no technology means no bombs, guns or cars. He's obviously still a jerk, but maybe this Takatori's not quite as bad as the one where I'm from? Hmmm….   
  
"Ken san?!"   
  
I feel Yohji poking my arm. Oops, I guess I did it again.   
  
"Oh! Sorry Yohji, I was just thinking. An awful lot has happened to me the past few hours, and I got distracted. But I'm fine."   
  
"Are you hungry?" Yohji pulls a plate seemingly out of nowhere and offers it to me. "I brought this with the tea. I didn't know what you might eat though! You probably have all sorts of weird foreign food now! Do you know mochi? It was the best thing I could find in the kitchen."   
  
I have a hard time not laughing at the worried expression on his face. He sounds just like Omi! Hehe…   
  
"Don't worry, Japan still has mochi! And I like it a lot, thanks." I take one of the little pink cakes off the plate.   
  
"Oh, and something else," I suddenly remember, "please don't call me Ken san, it sounds strange hearing you say something so formal to me."   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry. Should I call you Ken kun instead?"   
  
"That seems odd coming from you as well. Just call me Ken."   
  
"Or," I add on a whim, "you could use my nickname. The Yohji I know always called me KenKen."   
  
"KenKen?" Yohji echoes.   
  
"Yeah, he always called me that to annoy me."   
  
"But I don't want to annoy you." Replies Yohji, puzzled.   
  
"Well, you see, it doesn't _actually_ annoy me. I'd just pretend it did, you know, to seem cool."   
  
"Being annoyed is cool?" Hm, Yohji's not getting this.   
  
"No, no, no. It's not that. It's the nickname that's not cool. It sounds sort of young, doesn't it? So I'd pretend I didn't like it so I wouldn't come off as young. Get it?"   
  
Yohji frowns.   
  
"And Yohji knew that I was just pretending to get annoyed. Otherwise he wouldn't have kept calling me that. But he was pretending to try and annoy me to keep up his image. Cause Yohji acts like he's cooler than everyone. See?"   
  
"Is he?"   
  
"Is he what?"   
  
"Cooler than everyone?"   
  
"Well, I'd never admit it to that Yohji, but yeah. More or less."   
  
"Oh." Yohji rubs the back of his head. "How confusing."   
  
"Just call me KenKen and don't worry about it."   
  
"Um, okay." Yohji picks up a green mochi and thoughtfully takes a bite of it. "Do I have one?" he suddenly asks.   
  
"Have what?"   
  
"A nickname. I always wanted one, but no one here likes me enough to have given me one."   
  
"Oh. Yeah, you do. Sometimes we call you Yotan."   
  
"Yotan?" Yohji seems to be trying out the sound of it. He then looks up at me and smiles. "Yotan. I think I like that. Would you mind calling me that, then?"   
  
I smile back. "Sure thing, Yotan."   
  
For a few minutes we sit and eat in silence. Yohji goes back to playing with my wallet. He's now become particularly fascinated with the 1000 yen bill I had in there. He keeps holding it up and looking at the watermark.   
  
"It's so pretty! I can't believe this is actually money. I wouldn't want to spend it!"   
  
I can't hold back the laughter this time.   
  
"What's so funny?" He asks.   
  
"It's just strange hearing you say that!" I explain, "My Yohji wouldn't think twice about spending a whole stack of those. He really likes to buy stuff."   
  
"_A whole stack?!_" Yohji's eyes grow wide. "But that's so much money! I wouldn't even be able to spend one of these. A thousand yen. Wow!"   
  
I shrug. "It's not that much, really. It's barely enough to get you four cups of coffee."   
  
His eyes grow even wider now. "Oh, Coffee! I've heard of that. I've _always_ wanted to try coffee! It's too rare though. I'd never be able to afford some."   
  
"Oh. Where I'm from we have it every single morning. It's pretty good, but hardly anything spectacular. Although, you do love it there. You usually have four or five cups every day."   
  
"I knew I'd like it." Yohji mutters dreamily, before looking back at me again. "I want to know more. Tell me more about your Yohji, please."   
  
Hm, how to describe Yohji to Yohji? This should be interesting….   
  
"Well, lets see….For starters, your hair is shorter there. It's only down to about your shoulders. When you pull your hair back, some of it always falls around your face. And you almost always have sunglasses on, too. If you're not wearing them, then you put them on your head."   
  
"What are sunglasses?"   
  
"Um, they're like regular glasses-you do have eyeglasses here, right?-only the glass is darker."   
  
"Oh. Uncle wears eyeglasses. But how do you see if the glass is dark?"   
  
"You know, I've asked Yohji that many times myself." I chuckle. "He doesn't wear them to be practical, they're part of his image."   
  
"His image of being annoying?" Yohji asks, still confused.   
  
Haha, when I get back I'm gonna have a lot of fun telling Yohji about this version of himself….. "No, his image of looking cool."   
  
"That doesn't make sense."   
  
"No, it doesn't, but it seems to work for him. He gets more girls then anyone I've ever met."   
  
"I think you're making that up to make me feel better." Yohji says with a frown.   
  
"I'm not! It's the honest-to-god truth. Yohji can get any girl he wants in my world." _Or any guy as well, apparently_ I add in my head, remembering the eerie conversation I had with Kase a few hours ago.   
  
"I'm afraid I just can't believe that." Yohji says, shaking his head. "But go on anyway, I still want to know more."   
  
"Well, lets see, you have a tattoo on your arm…."   
  
"Really?! What's it of?"   
  
"Um…I've never gotten too good a look at it. It's some sort of symbol….like a sword? No a cross. It's an upside-down cross, I think…with, erm…wings around it. I think. And it says something in English. It's some sort of question."   
  
"You don't know what it says?" He asks hopefully.   
  
"No, I'm afraid not. He told me once, but I can't remember. My English is pretty lousy."   
  
"Stranger and stranger!" Yohji mutters to himself. "I've got a question on my arm that no one can read! How mysterious!"   
  
"Well, some people can read it, just not me. I'm very slow at learning languages."   
  
"Ah. Well, I still think it's neat." Yohji says, smiling, "Maybe someday I'll get a tattoo too."   
  
"I don't think you should, actually." I answer, a bit more solemnly. "I'm fairly certain that Yohji only got it because of the bad thing in his past. He gets this sad, glazed over expression whenever he looks at it."   
  
"Oh." Yohji strokes his arm thoughtfully. "Well, maybe I'll get mine because of a good thing. Meeting you has been a good thing. It's so nice to have someone to talk to! Then when I looked at my arm, I wouldn't feel lonely."   
  
Oh, Dude, I did not just hear that. Yohji getting a tattoo to remind him of _me_?! The weird-o-meter is now _broken_. I think I'm blushing.   
  
"Um…er…ack! Right. Anyway….." Smooth Ken, real smooth. "Your best friend is this guy named Omi. The two of you always hang out and play pranks on me."   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry." Yohji looks guilty and he didn't even do anything!   
  
"No, no. It's okay." I laugh, "I don't really mind. I'm an easy target, anyway."   
  
"Oh. Alright then. Tell me about Omi now!"   
  
"Okay. Omi is really nice. I don't get it, all sorts of bad things have happened to him, yet he's always cheerful. And he can cheer everyone else up too. He's practically your sidekick. You two do stuff together all the time."   
  
"He sounds great." Yohji sighs. "I wish I could meet him."   
  
Oh! I'm so stupid! Why didn't I remember this sooner, when I was trying to convince him to believe me?! I pull my wallet off the table and dig through the back of it.   
  
"I just remembered! I have a picture of us! Hang on a sec, and I can show you what he looks like."   
  
Ah, there it is! It's a little banged up, but it's got all four of us in it. I like this picture a lot. It's not all posed, and Aya is actually looking something other than bored. That happens to be because I'd just thrown my soccer ball at Omi, who in turn ducked, causing it to smack Yohji in the head. Aya is smirking in approval, heh heh. I think it captures us rather well, actually.   
  
"There, that's Omi, right next to you." I explain, handing the photo to him.   
  
The change in Yohji's face is immediate. He goes completely rigid.   
  
"There must be some mistake." He says. "The person in this picture cannot possibly be my friend."   
  
I'm confused. "Why not? What's wrong, Yotan?"   
  
"That's my brother, Marmoru."   
  
He sets the picture down on the table and looks up at me coldly.   
  
"I _hate_ him."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
  
Why am I so mean to poor little Omi?! Cause it just makes the plot so much more interesting……   
I'll try to be nicer to him after this. Really.   
  
  
**Xellas** and **Misura**: -Sob-! I love you guys! Thanks for so faithfully following every chapter (sometimes I wonder if people get bored in the middle of this or something…) You two keep me writing. Ya really do. Sniffle.   
  
  
  
* * * 


	7. Exploring

  
  
Okay. So I'm about to break one of my own rules. I have a 'no excessive Japanese' policy. Well, I broke it. There's some song lyrics as part of a dream, and the song's in Japanese. The translation is at the bottom of the chapter. You can completely ignore them if you wish….   
  
Hm. This chapter's odd.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
  
No way.   
  
No fucking way.   
  
I heard that wrong.   
  
I -know- I heard that wrong.   
  
Because Yohji _did not_ just say that he hates Omi.   
  
No one can hate Omi. It's one of those laws of physics or something. I'm fairly certain my teacher covered it in science class. Chibis 101. Omi is just not a hate-able person. He's not even unlikable. If he tries really hard he just might be able to pull off mildly irritating. But he can't keep it up. Nope. There is definitely some sort of miscommunication occurring.   
  
Because Yohji and Omi are like _that_.   
  
I mean inseparable 'like that.' Not _that way_ 'like that' (yeah, I know what _you_ were thinking)….   
  
…er, at least I think I meant that kind of that….   
  
Gee, after all that's happened I'm no longer even sure about _that_.   
  
Well anyway, they're best buds.   
  
On the rare occasions upon which Omi rises to the status of 'mildly irritating' the source can be traced back to Yohji ninety-eight percent of the time.   
  
I kid, I kid.   
  
One hundred percent of the time.   
  
Yohji is the one person who knows how to unearth lil' Omittchi's evil streak. And he uses that knowledge with glee.   
  
I site the 'park incident.'   
  
Not to mention the 'ramen incident.'   
  
Which was promptly followed by the 'daikon radish incident' (shudder.)   
  
Oh yeah, then there was that time they stole Aya's car and took it all the way to….   
  
Hey, the chibi's got a _big_ evil streak, now that I think of it.   
  
But even evil Omittchi is un-unlikable. And I might add that it's the evil Omittchi that Yohji likes so much. You see where I'm getting at?   
  
It's just not possible for Yohji to dislike Omi.   
  
Right?   
  
But then it was also not possible for Yohji to be a Takatori.   
Or for Kase to be alive.   
Or for Aya to…to….::cough cough::   
  
Fuck, I'm confused.   
  
* * *   
  
"You can't be serious. You're…you're joking, right?"   
  
"I hate him far too much to joke about." Yohji remarks icily.   
  
"But…how?! The Omi I know _worships_ you! He'll do anything you ask him to! He's even saved your-"   
  
"Now I do believe _you're_ the one who's joking. That heartless little prick would have me thrown out of the house if he could pull it off. Wait, on second thought. He probably _wouldn't_. I think having me around keeps his self esteem up. He'd be at a bit of a loss if he ever acted on his torments."   
  
"How can that be?!" I thought I had gotten past this whole being shocked thing.   
  
Yohji sighs and rubs his temple tensely. "Okay, I didn't want to lay on the 'pity me' thing too thick, so I left out that part of the story earlier. But I suppose I can fill you in on Marmoru too, if it's that important to you to know."   
  
I just nod to show I'm paying attention.   
  
"For starters, I've got three brothers. Two of them are older than me, and although they're pretty big bastards themselves, they for the most part leave me alone. Don't really feel I'm worth their time, you know? And that suits me just fine. Being ignored is a _good_ thing for me.   
  
But the younger one-Mamoru-he's horrible to me. Downright cruel sometimes. He blames me, you see? He thinks it's _my_ fault dad hates him. Thinks it's just an extension of dad hating me. He has no idea the real reason, so he's worked out that dad must have been so bitter over my existence that he was just disgusted with children in general. No love left for the leftover son, right?   
  
But his reasoning is all flawed. We have a younger sister too; younger than Mamoru. Dad dotes on her. So it's obviously not just his misfortune of being born after me, you see?   
  
I think he's even aware of that, which just makes him hate me more. So he torments me. Always rubbing in my face how 'Japanese' he is, and how I'm nothing more than second class. Never misses a goddamn opportunity to flaunt his superiority. It's appalling.   
  
I never do anything back though. I don't have to. Cause I _know_. I know why dad hates him, and it would kill him if he found out. Heh, Just the fact I know is good enough revenge for me."   
  
"So why does he?" I ask.   
  
"Well, remember I said that my mom was killed when I was five?"   
  
I nod again.   
  
"Well, Mamoru is exactly five years younger than me. Which had him as a tiny baby when mom died. So he doesn't remember her. Sad, really. No memory at all of his real mom."   
  
"_Oh_."   
  
"So Mamoru thinks we're only half-brothers, but he's wrong. He's just like me. He was just lucky enough to look more Japanese, so the family kept it secret and raised him as normal. It was easy to do, when he had no memory of his actual mother. Besides, I think it was part of my stepmother's revenge on mom. She got to take Mamoru and raise him as her own. I'm fairly sure that she's responsible for feeding him all that nationalist nonsense over the years."   
  
Wow, what a complicated family. Ugh. Well, I suppose it's easier to accept a not nice Omi though, knowing he's been brainwashed. I guess.   
  
"I don't get it," I ask, "if you hate him so much, why don't you tell him the truth?"   
  
"Ah. Revenge delayed is all the sweeter." Yohji replies, smugly.   
  
"I don't follow."   
  
"Well, you see, he's so fucking proud of his 'great Japanese heritage.' So I think I'm gonna wait a couple of years-till he's had kids-or better yet, _grandkids_-before I break the news to him. Watch him unknowingly dilute his precious gene pool first." Yohji rubs his hands together maniacally. "Then, after he's responsible for creating a second and third generation of 'second class half-breeds,' _then_ I'll drop the bombshell. Heh heh.   
  
Besides….The rest of the family would be royally pissed off if I told him now. Wouldn't make them look too good. Much, much better to wait."   
  
Well. I have just confirmed that devious plotting is a trait consistent in all Yohji's wherever they may be. Big shock there, though.   
  
"Um…but what if he never has kids?"   
  
"Oh, he'll have kids alright. He won't want to disappoint the family. Besides, it will be another way of proving he's better than me; knowing that _I'll_ never get to have any, and all."   
  
"You're that certain you won't?"   
  
"Who am I kidding? Nobody's gonna be with me unless I paid them. And you can't exactly buy a wife. It's okay though, I've come to terms with it. At least I've got revenge to live for."   
  
My god, this is sad. I don't quite know how to respond to _that_.   
  
Yohji senses how awkward I feel and changes the subject.   
  
"Ah, don't worry about it. I'm okay. It's gotten late, and I bet you're really tired after all that's happened to you. Why don't we just go to bed now? We can figure out what to do about you in the morning, okay?"   
  
"I suppose you're right. Where should I sleep?" I look around the room…there's not exactly space to set up another bed.   
  
"Right here." Yohji replies, pointing to his futon. "I'll go somewhere else. I'd rather not have the family find out you're here quite yet, if that's okay."   
  
"Oh, but I don't want to take your bed!" I protest, "I can sleep on the floor, I don't mind, really-"   
  
"I don't think so!" Yohji cuts in, "I've never had a guest before, so you're sleeping in the bed and that's that. I have to go clean up, and you better be asleep when I check on you!"   
  
And with that, Yohji pushes me down on the futon before swooping up the empty plate and tea set. He shoots me a quick smile before leaving the room, the screen silently sliding shut behind him.   
  
  
* * *   
  
  
This room….it's familiar.   
  
I haven't been here for a long time though. Where is it?   
  
Oh, that's right. This is Kase's house. Er…his parents house. We played here as kids. But aren't his parents dead? I thought it was sold.   
  
It doesn't feel right though. The wallpapers all wrong.   
  
And that noise….   
  
_ ~ arukou arukou ~_   
  
A song?   
  
_~ watashi wa genki ~_   
  
Yes….it's sort of familiar too. But I think the tune's off a little. It's supposed to sound happier, isn't it?   
  
_~ aruku no daisuki ~ _   
  
Definitely. It shouldn't sound so sad.   
  
_~ don-don ikou ~_   
  
I don't like this at all. Everything feels wrong. Like I'm looking through water.   
  
_ ~ sakamichi tonneru kusappara ~_   
  
I remember the carpet being white. Why is it red now? No. It shouldn't be red.   
  
_~ ippon bashi ni dekoboko jari michi ~_   
  
Oh I see.   
  
_~ kumo no su kugutte kudari michi ~_   
  
It's not red everywhere. Only where the blood is.   
  
_~ mitsubachi ga bun-bun hana batake ~_   
  
The blood's coming from somewhere, though. Where?   
  
_~ hinata ni tokage hebi wa hirune ~_   
  
Ah. The couch. There's a person on the couch.   
  
_~ batta ga tonde magari michi ~_   
  
Don't they see what a mess they've made?   
  
_ ~ kitsune mo tanuki mo de te oide ~_   
  
Kase's parents are going to be angry.   
  
_~ tanken-shiyou hayashi no oku made ~_   
  
I hope they don't think I did it.   
  
_ ~ tomodachi takusan ureshii na ~ _   
  
I better tell them to clean it up.   
  
_~ tomodachi takusan ureshii na ~_   
  
Before they get in trouble.   
  
_~ Watashi wa genki ~ _   
  
Oh, look. It's Aya.   
  
_~ Watashi wa genki ~ _   
  
Hey Aya, you should get up. This isn't our house.   
  
_~ Watashi wa genki ~ _   
  
Aya?   
  
_~ Watashi wa genki ~ _   
  
Stop fooling around, Aya. We'll get in trouble.   
  
_~ Watashi wa genki ~ _   
  
I don't want to get in trouble.   
  
_~ genki ~ _   
  
Aya?   
  
_~ genki ~ _   
  
Why are you ignoring me, Aya? I'm just trying to help you.   
  
_~ genki ~ _   
  
And why are you so cold?   
  
_~ genki ~ _   
  
Snap out of it!   
  
_~ daisuke ~_   
  
Fine, I'll leave you to get in trouble by your self.   
  
_~ daisuke ~_   
  
Is that what you want?   
  
_~ daisuke ~_   
  
I'll count to three. And then I'll leave.   
  
_~ daisuke ~_   
  
One….   
  
_~ daisuke ~_   
  
…two….   
  
_~ daisuke ~_   
  
…thr-oh, come on Aya. You know I don't want to leave you. Please get up.   
  
_~ tomodachi takusan_   
  
Yohji! Help me take Aya home, okay?   
  
_~ tomodachi takusan_   
  
Yohji?   
  
_~ tomodachi takusan_   
  
Yohji, what are you doing?   
  
_~ tomodachi takusan_   
  
Stop that!   
  
_~ tomodachi takusan_   
  
Get off of him!   
  
_~ tomodachi takusan_   
  
Yohji, you're hurting him!   
  
_~tomodachi ~_   
  
Please?   
  
_~ ureshii na ~ _   
  
Yohji, Yohji, please get off! I don't like what you're doing to Aya.   
  
_~ ureshii na ~ _   
  
I…I just wanted to help. Why won't anyone help?   
  
_~ ureshii na ~ _   
  
Aya…why don't you push him off? Aya?   
  
_~ Watashi wa genki! ~ _   
  
The song is skipping. Would somebody turn off the FUCKING music?! I'm NOT fine!   
  
Silence.   
  
Well, at least someone's listening to me.   
  
Oh, Kase. Did you turn it off?   
  
_No, that was you._   
  
Huh? But I didn't….   
  
Oh, Omi! Are you okay? There's blood on your arms.   
  
From your elbows to your wrists. I guess the flowers were too sharp.   
  
They're dangerous, you know?   
  
Only Aya can handle the flowers.   
  
Don't smile like that. I bet it hurts. You should be crying.   
  
I've never seen you smile like that before, Omi.   
  
I don't like it.   
  
What is Kase doing with your arm?   
  
Now there's blood on his hands too. Why does everyone want to get blood on them? Won't someone help me clean this up?   
  
He's writing with the blood. Oh, Kase. Now you're in for it. Your parents will know that was you.   
  
All over the white carpet. And I bet it was just cleaned.   
  
I hate white carpets. They get dirty too fast. Green would be better. Or lavender. A nice, lavender carpet.   
  
That's odd. Why are you writing in katakana?   
  
Foreign words?   
  
Wa?   
  
Wa-n…   
  
Wa-n-yu-go….   
  
Wa-n-yu-go-n-na-ra-ru-n   
  
Wan yu gonna rarun?   
  
_rarun?_   
  
Ran?   
  
No, not Ran. A foreign word.   
  
_learn_.   
  
_When you gonna learn_.   
  
Weird. That sounds familiar.   
  
What does it mean?   
  
Do you know, Kase?   
  
Kase?   
  
Kase.   
  
They're…they're dead. Aren't they?   
  
They're all…dead.   
  
Aya.   
  
_Aya's dead._   
  
No.   
  
I. I don't want Aya…   
  
Aya to be…   
  
Kase?   
  
_Wrong, Kenken._   
  
What are you doing?   
  
_The only one who's dead_   
  
Get away from me Kase, I don't want you near me!   
  
_Is you_   
  
Kase's mouth…suffocating me….   
  
Get off me Kase.   
  
Can't…push him away…   
  
And   
  
..…Every   
  
Thing   
  
..…Turns   
  
Red.   
  
  
* * *   
  
I wake up in a cold sweat.   
  
A dream. It was just a fucking dream. I can't stop shaking. It was so real.   
I feel dirty. And angry.   
I don't like how it ended.   
Well, I don't like any of it. But the ending was the worst.   
Kase kissed me.   
I feel so fucking dirty.   
  
I didn't want to be Kissed.   
  
Not by Kase.   
  
I could stand it from just about anyone _but_ Kase.   
  
Maybe even not mind….   
  
From someone else?   
  
_I'm so confused._   
  
I hope I didn't yell out while I was sleeping. Yohji hasn't told anyone I'm here yet. It would be bad for them to find out about me that way. I don't want him to get in trouble. Ick, now that was déjà vu.   
  
I wonder where Yohji went after I fell asleep? I was exhausted. I didn't even hear him check on me.   
  
As my eyes begin to adjust to the dark, I notice a shadowy shape against the wall. A person?   
  
It's Yohji. He's sitting against the wall, with his head bent forward. I guess he's sleeping.   
  
He must have come back in after I fell asleep. I suppose he lied about having somewhere else to go. I just took that for granted that in such a big house…goddamn Takatoris.   
  
His neck is gonna hurt like hell. I'm not going to let him stay like that.   
  
I creep forward and poke him lightly.   
  
"Yohji?"   
  
"Mmmm?" He yawns, "What? You need something?"   
  
"No. I wanted you to take your bed back."   
  
"Don't be stupid. You're my guest."   
  
"More like a burden." I argue. "You're helping me out, I'm the one who owes _you_. Take it."   
  
"I'll do no such thing." Yohji replies stubbornly, crossing his arms.   
  
"Look, I won't be able to sleep if I'm feeling guilty about causing you to sleep against the wall, so you might as well take it."   
  
"Well then lie there awake," Yohji says, "Because I'm not taking it."   
  
"Well, neither am I." Two can play at this stubborn thing.   
  
"Your loss." Replies Yohji, and settles back against the wall.   
  
I put my head down on the table. But it's really cold in here without the blanket. In five minutes I'm more awake than I was when arguing with Yohji.   
  
I look at the futon.   
  
I look at Yohji.   
  
I look at the soft, warm, inviting futon. Just wasting away with no one to sleep in it….   
  
I look back at Yohji. Poor, chivalrous Yohji, who's gonna have a very sore back in the morning.   
  
Hell, I can compromise.   
  
"Yohji?" I poke him again.   
  
"I said no! Now just go back to bed, okay?"   
  
"Hey, you didn't even listen to what I was going to say!"   
  
"You weren't going to argue?" He asks, stifling another yawn.   
  
"No. I was going to ask if you would be willing to share it."   
  
He looks rather skeptical. "I don't know. It's awfully small."   
  
"It'll work okay," I reassure him. "Otherwise I'm sleeping out here too."   
  
"Fine," he says, "anything to stop arguing."   
  
Rather clumsily, we both stumble back onto the mattress. It takes some scrambling to get us to fit. He wasn't kidding when he said it was small.   
  
It's no matter though. I'll just wait for him to fall asleep, and then get up without disturbing him….   
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
  
Anyone recognize the song in Ken's dream? It was the opening to Totoro. Yes, it's precisely due to its inappropriateness that I chose that one. I wanted something childish that would clash with the atmosphere of the dream. Here's the English translation:   
  
Let's walk, let's walk,   
I'm fine.   
I love to walk,   
let's go quickly.   
Uphill road, tunnel, meadow,   
On a narrow bridge, a bumpy gravel path.   
Passing under a spiderweb, a downhill path.   
A honeybee buzzes in a field of flowers,   
a lizard in the sunshine, a snake takes a midday nap,   
a grasshopper leaps, along the curving path.   
Foxes and racoon dogs, come out,   
Let's go exploring deep into the woods.   
I have lots of friends, I'm so happy.   
I have lots of friends, I'm so happy.   
  
Here are the specific bits that got repeated over and over:   
  
_Watashi wa genki_: I'm fine (or could be 'happy' or 'healthy' too)   
_Daisuke_: I love…   
_Tomodachi takusan_: I have lots of friends   
_Ureshii na_: I'm so happy   
  
Ya know, come to think of it, I think that song works rather well, after all. It's about going exploring….and Ken's on quite the trip, isn't he? Exploring…and….mwahaha….   
  
I'll shut up now.   
  
  
….   
  
……   
  
  
Eh. I lied. I feel like rambling pointlessly. Nothing said after this point has any relevancy to the story. So ya don't have to read it unless you feel like humoring me…   
  
So I had this really weird dream two nights ago.   
I was back in Japan again. For some reason I was at this media press release, or…something. My dream wasn't very concise about what was going on. There were a lot of people there, for no apparent reason.   
  
And for no apparent reason, I was hanging out with Omi's voice actor (whats-his-name? Yuuki Hiro or something? I don't feel like looking it up…. The really girly looking one…..I'll call him Y.H.) And some lady in a business suit. I think she was his manager. So she invited us to go to lunch. At a tofu restaurant. And we ate….tofu sandwiches. Yep. I don't know why. And here's the weirdest part. Y.H. had a wooden arm. Not a wooden arm that looked like a wooden arm. Nope. More like a piece of driftwood screwed to his elbow. Allegedly he needed it for a movie he was working on. Heh. Koyasu was there too. But he was just slinking around the background. He didn't want to be social with anyone. I was a little sad. I wanted his autograph. Moouu.   
  
Was there any point to all that?   
None at all.   
in fact, hardly anything happened in that dream at all.   
It was just so frickin' stupid, I felt like sharing.   
  
See what happens when I fall asleep thinking about my fanfics?   
  
I need help.   
  
  
* * * 


	8. Shortcut

  
  
I think it's probably the blinding sunlight that wakes me up. My first thought is: "oh crap! I was going to get up and move before I fell asleep!" Which is quickly followed by: "why was I planning on moving anyway?" Then: "where's my bed?" And most distressing of all: "where am _I_?" Then yesterday's events slowly start to filter back to me. I'm just starting to comprehend my weird situation, when I notice something else weird.   
  
Something…_very_ weird.   
  
My right arm is asleep.   
  
It is asleep because someone is laying on it.   
  
The person lying on my right arm is, consequently, lying _under_ my left arm.   
  
I'm afraid to look.   
  
I really, really don't want to look.   
  
I have to look.   
  
The sooner I look, the sooner I can get my arm back.   
  
Oh hell, here goes.   
  
I look.   
  
Fuck.   
  
I knew I didn't want to look.   
  
Why in the name of all that's holy was I sleeping with my arms wrapped around _Yohji_?!   
  
Wait, don't answer that. I'd rather not find out.   
  
Oh god, he's awake too. Why is he grinning like that?!   
  
. . . .   
  
. . . .   
  
There is a very uncomfortable pause before my reflexes catch up with me, and I jump about a foot in the air.   
  
"Oh shit! I'm so sorry! I don't know why I was doing that Yohji, I'm so sorry! I---"   
  
Yohji starts laughing as he waves away my apology, "ha ha. It's okay. I know what happened. You were talking in your sleep again…"   
  
Uh-oh….   
  
"…and thought you were with one of your girlfriends, that's all."   
  
Eh? One…one of my girlfriends?! _Plural_? I don't even have _a_ girlfriend, I sure as hell don't have them in multiples!   
  
"I was talking in my sleep again?"   
  
"Yeah," Yohji says, still grinning, "most of it was just gibberish, but there were two girls you kept mentioning, no doubt about that. Heh. You never mentioned you were so popular with the ladies, heh-heh."   
  
I really wish he'd stop nudging me with that 'go get 'em tiger' look on his face….   
  
Dare I ask?   
  
"Er…who was I talking about? I…can't remember the dream…."   
  
Yohji arches an eyebrow, but answers my question.   
  
"Well, first you kept mumbling about a Yuriko. That's when you started to hug me…."   
  
Oh. _Yuriko_. What a relief. Yeah, dreaming about Yuriko's not too strange….   
  
"…But after a while you started calling me "Aya" instead. And let me tell you, you went into _death-grip_ mode then. Ha ha. This Aya must me some girl, eh? So which one's the primary and which one's on the side? Huh?"   
  
I barely hear the end of his question, because the mention of "Aya" causes me to erupt into a coughing fit. Aya? _Aya_?! I was hugging Yohji for dear life because I thought he was _Aya_?! No. No way. I heard that wrong.   
  
Wait. The other day when I supposedly met Kase…. Kase told me that Aya was dead. Well, hearing that Aya's dead is upsetting. Of course I'd want to hug Aya if I found him alive after thinking he was dead. It's an obvious reaction. Whew. Glad I got that all figured out. I won't bother Yohji with the details though, I'll just play along….   
  
"Heh-heh. No, I'm not with Yuriko anymore. And Aya….Aya's just someone I know. We're not even together! Heh. Heh-heh…."   
  
"Oh." Yohji looks a bit more serious. "Well, it sounded like you have it pretty bad for this Aya girl. If you ever make it back to your own time, I think you should tell her how you feel."   
  
If I had had anything to choke on, I would have choked. As things stood, I mentally hyperventilated instead. Yohji. Did. Not. Just. Seriously. Advise. Me. To. Ask. Out. Aya.   
Nooooo. No. No. No. No. This. Is. Not. Happening….   
  
"I'm serious." Yohji reiterates, "I think you _really_ have it for this girl. You should definitely tell her how you feel…."   
  
I suddenly manage to snap out of my stupor. "No, no, no, no! I'm fine! Aya is just one of my friends! I don't even like her like that. He's…._S_he's just someone I hang out with, s'all! _Really_!"   
  
Yohji looks skeptical. "Are you sure? She sure sounded like more than that before….I mean, I half thought you were going to start making out with me or something…."   
  
Okay, _way_ more information than I can handle right now….   
  
"Er, Yotan? Why didn't you wake me up?! I hate to think I was making you uncomfortable…."   
  
Yohji shakes his head and looks oddly guilty. "No, actually _I_ should apologize….I didn't want to wake you up…..I mean, I'm always alone, and…kinda lonely, so…ah…." His voice steadily drops as he struggles for the words, "…it was kinda, urm, nice…actually."   
  
Oooh boy. Ken's brain: requesting permission to shut down and not have to deal with this.   
  
Yohji doesn't seem any more sure of how to react than I do. He's rather obviously trying not to look at me.   
  
"Um…well then…I guess we should start trying to figure out how I'm going to get back…."   
  
Yohji's far-off expression immediately drops into one of distress. "You want to leave already? I…I sort of thought you might want to stay a little bit and…and see the sights…or…something."   
  
"Oh."   
  
Damn. I hadn't thought about how leaving would affect Yohji. I just promised to be his friend, and I'm already abandoning him. But…I _can't_ stay. Not with tear-streaked and dead Ayas haunting me. Shoot. It's a no-win situation….   
  
"Oh god, Yotan, I'm really sorry! It's not that I _want_ to leave, it's just that…I think I hurt someone before coming here, and it's worrying me to death. I _have_ to get back to make sure things are okay! I'm so sorry…."   
  
"Nah. I understand. I'd want to hurry back too."   
  
Oh shit, he looks so sad. What can I do?!   
Wait. Maybe…   
No, bad idea!   
But…   
Hm.   
  
"Um, Yotan? There isn't really anything here you're particularly attached to, is there?"   
  
"No, not really, why?" Suddenly his expression changes as he catches on to what I'm implying. "No _definitely_ not. I hate it here!"   
  
"So….you wouldn't be adverse to, um, leaving, would you?"   
  
"You mean I could _go with you_?!" Yohji is practically beaming.   
  
"Well, yeah. We could try."   
  
"Would it work?"   
  
"I have no idea."   
  
A frown is slowly creeping back onto is face. "But there is already a Yohji where you live…."   
  
"That's true but…" Dang, this is so frickin' weird, "…I don't think he'd mind me bringing you. We could always set you up in another city, where no one knows him. No one would ever know the difference, I guess…."   
  
"Oh _wow_, that would be great!" Yohji throws himself at me, and I almost suffocate he's hugging me so hard. He suddenly seems to catch himself and quickly jumps back, blushing.   
  
"Er…sorry about that."   
  
He looks so awkward I have to laugh. "Heh. It's okay, I understand. But lets get going. We have a flower shop to look for."   
  
  
  
"Are you _sure_ we looked everywhere?" I ask, miserably.   
  
"Yeah," mutters Yohji, "we've definitely been everywhere."   
  
We're currently sprawled under a tree next to one of the many small shrines tucked into the city. We're very dirty, very tired, and very very frustrated.   
  
"There are no flower shops here," Yohji says, ticking off our failures on his hand, "all the flowers are sold by vendors with carts-completely un-magical and non-reality altering carts, I might add. There is no shop named the Koneko no Sumu Ie; selling flowers or anything else. Finally, we did not see a single person fitting the description of this 'Momoe San' whom you described to me….Your flower shop does not seem to exist here in any form whatsoever."   
  
"It _has_ to be here!" I'm fighting back a wave of panic now, "things changed every time I went in or out of the shop! It's got to be the shop, because things didn't change after I met you! Damnit, if we don't find the shop, I'm _stuck_ here!"   
  
"It's really not so bad here, you know." Yohji says, frowning slightly, "not for normal people, anyhow."   
  
"My problem isn't being _here_" I explain with exasperation, "it's the people I'm missing _back there_! Argh!"   
  
"Oh, that's right." Yohji says with a slight smirk.   
  
"Shut up! This has nothing to do with girls!"   
  
Yohji just arches an eyebrow, which is fortunate. Had he actually said anything then I would probably have lost my temper and decked him.   
  
Wait! Hey, wait a minute!   
  
"Yohji! we didn't go back to the place where you found me, did we?"   
  
"No," Yohji answers, frowning, "there aren't any shops there. It's just an empty alleyway."   
  
"Maybe…." I'm barely daring to hope now, "maybe it wasn't the shop that made things change! It might have been the shortcut I took to _get_ to the shop!"   
  
"Hm." Yohji mutters thoughtfully, "could be."   
  
"Come on, you have to take me back to the alley!"   
  
  
  
"So this is it, huh?" I ask nervously.   
  
"Yep." Yohji replies, somewhat distantly.   
  
"This is it." I repeat dumbly.   
  
"Yep….sure you want to go now?" Yohji asks, "maybe you should stay another night, so you'll be rested when we go."   
  
"No," I answer, shaking my head, "I really can't lose anymore time. Too much has happened already"   
  
"You…_sure_?" Yohji asks, obviously worried.   
  
"Are you okay Yotan?" I ask, "it's okay if you changed your mind about coming with me, I'll understand."   
  
"No, it's not that. Well it _is_ that. sorta. Not changing my mind but….I'm afraid it won't work for me."   
  
"Why wouldn't it work for you? I went through three times already."   
  
"Yeah, but…maybe it only works for one person. Or maybe we'll both go through but end up in different places. I can't help worrying that something will go wrong."   
  
"Hm." I sit down to think, "that hadn't really occurred to me."   
  
"I'll be twice as miserable as before if I end up alone again," Yohji says miserably, "now that I've actually made a friend…."   
  
Crap. This is all so complicated….Hey! Something suddenly occurs to me. I dig out my wallet and extract the picture of us that I showed Yohji yesterday.   
  
"Here, why don't you keep this." I say, handing it to him, "See this guy with the red hair? Well, in the last place I was, you two where…uh…_close_. If you get separated from me, then look for him. I'm pretty sure he'd be your friend if you can find him."   
  
_I'm pretty sure he'd be more than your friend_ I add mentally, which causes a rather weird sensation in my stomach.   
  
"Wow, thanks!" Yohji says, regarding the photo with awe. "What's his name?"   
  
Oh shit. He _had_ to ask that.   
  
"Aya…." I answer reluctantly, "his name is Aya."   
  
"Oh." Yohji says absently, before his eyes widen in surprise. "_Oh_."   
  
"It's not what you think," I say, shaking my head, "we're barely even friends."   
  
"Oh." Yohji just stupidly repeats, still looking stunned.   
  
I stand up and offer him my hand. "Here, we should probably hang on to each other. It seems that would up our chances of staying together."   
  
"…yeah." Yohji answers, and slowly takes my hand, "that's a good idea…."   
  
Yohji seems really distant all of the sudden. I wonder what he's so preoccupied with?   
  
He looks at me, turns away for a second and then looks at me again. He suddenly seems to make up his mind about something.   
  
"You ready?" I ask.   
  
"Just…a second." He mumbles.   
  
Before I know what's hit me he turns around, grabs me, and kisses me with far more force than I would have expected, had I been expecting him to kiss me. Which I sure as hell hadn't.   
  
I freeze.   
  
Somewhere in the haze of my shock I note the fact that Yohji's kissing skills are apparently a natural talent, and not the result of all the practice he gets back in my reality.   
  
I then realize that I am analyzing Yohji's said skills, instead of analyzing how to get him off me.   
  
This causes me to freak out. Just a little.   
  
Yohji seems to freak out a little too. He abruptly lets go and turns away from me.   
  
"I'm sorry!" He yelps.   
  
Although my mind is screaming 'what the fuck were you thinking?!' I find myself merely saying, "it's, um, okay."   
  
He's still not looking at me. "Um, well then….Thanks?"   
  
"Er…you're…welcome."   
  
….   
  
"We should get going then." I say, to break the awkward silence.   
  
"Right." Yohji answers, "we should definitely get going."   
  
He rather shakily offers me back his hand, and I grasp it.   
  
Slowly, we start to walk into the alley. At first it seems like nothing's happening. For a second I think that I was wrong, and we'll walk right to the other side with no change. I'm thinking how stupid we'll feel after all the fuss that we made, when I realize that I'm losing my grip on Yohji's hand. I try grabbing him tighter but he melts away in my grasp. I look around in panic. He seems to have dissolved into thin air.   
  
"Yohji?" I ask tentatively. "_Yohji_?!"   
  
"It's no use," says a voice from behind me, "he can't hear you anymore."   
  
  
  
A/N: The rating of this fic has been permanently changed to R. I was not previously aware that it warranted that rating just for language.   
  
Next chapter: Yup, Ken's finally gonna get a real explanation as to just WTF is going on. Heh. 


	9. The remainders

  
  
"It's no use. He can't hear you anymore."  
  
I spin around to see who spoke.  
  
Right behind me, a man is leaning against the wall of the alleyway.  
  
It seems as though I'm standing in the exact same place as before, only sans Yohji. No, wait. It _is_ different. The alley seems...longer. I turn back around and take a better look at the direction I was initially facing. The alley goes on and on and on....No end is visible either way....  
  
I turn back to the strange man. He has a mustache and is wearing a brown suit that has seen better days. I'd guess his age to be late fifty-ish or so....  
  
"Where _is_ this place?" I ask, and then panic starts to creep back up on me, and add, "what happened to Yohji?!"  
  
"Calm down," the mans says, "This 'Yohji' of yours is exactly where you left him," he yawns, "though you're best off forgetting him, because there's almost no chance that you'll ever see him again. Heh-heh. At least not _that_ 'Yohji'."  
  
What? _No_! I grab the man by his collar, and just barely resist the urge to shake him.   
  
"What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. _ON_?!"  
  
He grabs my wrists and pushes me off. He's stronger than I'd have guessed from his shabby appearance.  
  
"Hey now, don't kill the messenger. I'm in the same boat as you, you know. I'm just telling you like it is."  
  
"Like WHAT is? _What's going on_?!"  
  
"You're an excitable one, aren't you?" he says. I think he's enjoying keeping me in suspense, the bastard.  
  
I give him the most evil glare I can manage.   
  
"What's your name?" he asks.  
  
"Ken Hidaka," I answer, and then wonder if maybe it wasn't so smart to give him my real name....  
  
"Well then, Ken Hidaka, congratulations, you're the only one left."  
  
Huh? What's _that_ supposed to mean?  
  
"The only _what_ left?" I ask.  
  
"The only Ken Hidaka," he replies, rolling his eyes.  
  
Er, wasn't I always the only Ken Hidaka? "You mean other people _named_ 'Ken Hidaka' or other, uh, _me's_?"  
  
The strange man sighs and rubs his temple. "I wonder if the other Hidakas were as slow as you?" he mutters.  
  
Hey! I resent that.  
  
"Okay," he says, "I suppose I'm going to have to spell this out for you. Am I correct in assuming that this is not the first time things have, well, gone _strange_ for you?"  
  
"Yeah," I answer, "everything has changed about four times already."   
  
"Right then. And in these 'changed places' you met people who were similar to ones you knew before, but not exactly the same, am I wrong?"  
  
"Right, I met three of my friends," I say.  
  
"But you didn't meet anyone like yourself, did you?"  
  
"No...in fact...."  
  
"In fact, your friends were surprised to see you alive, weren't they?"   
  
"Yeah, they just about flipped out when they saw me."   
  
"Well there you have it, Mr. Hidaka. Every Ken Hidaka that ever was is now dead, except for you. Congratulations, you're one of a kind. If you weren't you'd still be living a perfectly normal life, blissfully unaware of the way things really are."   
  
"I still don't understand. Where _are_ we?"   
  
"We're not really anywhere," he says, maintaining his maddening vagueness, "it's a kind of 'in between' place. I like to call it 'the crossroads'."  
  
"The _cross_roads?" I take another glance up and down the endless alley, "I only see _one_ 'road' and it looks like it goes on _forever_."  
  
He shakes his head. "You're one of those people who can't grasp things they can't see, aren't you?"  
  
I start to object, but he cuts me off.   
  
"Reality's what does the crossing, kid. You can get _anywhere_ from this road."  
  
I perk up at this comment, "you mean I can get home from here?"  
  
He frowns. "_Theoretically_. I'm afraid I haven't been able to figure out how to control where you end up. Every time I've left this place I've wound up somewhere different."  
  
My hopes fall. "Oh." Then something occurs to me, "then how do you get back here if you can't control it?"  
  
"Because this is where everything comes together. There's so many worlds that you almost never come across the same one twice, but I found that this one comes up often. Maybe once in ten or so...though I once went three whole months without crossing it, but that was somewhat of a fluke, I think."  
  
"_Three months_?! How long have you been, er, _lost_?"  
  
He looks thoughtful, "Hm...gosh. I guess it must have been since....oh, 1918 maybe? There's not really any time here, so I have no idea how long it's been. After the first few years everything just kind of slides together, you know?"  
  
Okay, I just about have a heart attack here, "_1918_?! How...how are you still so _young_?!"   
  
He frowns again, "are you hard of hearing? I just told you, there's no time here. I haven't aged since 1931."  
  
"Holy shit."  
  
"Yeah," he yawns again, "that's what I thought at first, too."  
  
"So is that why you're here?" I ask, baffled at the idea that someone would want to sit alone in an alley for 70 some years, "so you won't age?"   
  
"No," he says, "I'm here because it's _quiet_. And I'm afraid that once I'm finished explaining all this to you, I'm going to have to kick you out. Nothing against you personally, I'm just not a people person, and I have first dibs here."  
  
Right. Like I'd _want_ to spend all eternity alone with _this_ dude. Eeew.  
  
"That's okay, I'd rather try and get home than stay here."  
  
"Good luck, kid," he says, "I spent ten years trying to get home, before I realized I didn't even _like_ my home and decided to pick somewhere else." He studies me for a minute, "I can see by your clothes you've passed through one of the separatist worlds. I'm rather fond of those, almost settled in one, you know."  
  
"Why didn't you?"  
  
"Two many people," he says, "besides, no matter how much one loves traditional values, it's just not possible to shed the Western influences you're raised on. I'd have stuck out like a sore thumb."  
  
Um, I suppose.   
  
"My advice to you, kid, is when you find a nice world that you don't hate too much, just stay there. You're not getting home, and the more worlds you see, the less you can fit into any of them. You'll just go crazy thinking you'll make it home again."   
  
_No_. I can't believe that....  
  
"For example, maybe you made some horrible mistake in your past, you've always regretted...I guarantee you, there was a version of you that made the other choice. You'll probably manage to find a place where you'll be _happier_ than you were."  
  
My, this man is quite the pessimist....  
  
....but he has a point.  
  
A world where there was no Weiß? That's a thought. A place where I was never disgraced from J-league, in fact, a place where I never played soccer at all, so if I were to go there there'd be nothing stopping me from playing now? Hm...  
  
No, I _couldn't_. How would I live with myself, knowing that Aya, Yohji, and Omi never knew what happened to me? Knowing that they're a man down on missions, and wondering if that might cause one of them to die? They _need_ me to make it back....  
  
I don't really believe this guy tried very hard. There's got to be something he didn't try....   
  
"So, um, how exactly does this all work?" I ask.   
  
"Well, I don't know _exactly_ you see, this is just what I've puzzled out from my experience...anyway, from what I can see, time isn't linear, like most people assume it is. Instead, it branches out, like a tree. So say you have two different worlds, connected by a fork. They'll have the same history up until where they split, and then things go their separate ways. This causes them to be similar, but with subtle differences. And this happens an infinite number of times. So the result is an infinite series of realities; some nearly identical, and others so different you can't even imagine. Heh-heh. You should see the one where Japan was conquered by the Vikings. Now _theres_ a bizarre experience."   
  
"And I can travel through them because my other selves are all dead?"  
  
"Now you're getting it," the man says, "this here alley is some kind of 'hot spot.' I'm not sure what causes it, maybe it's located by a key fork, or maybe the branches cross each other, I don't know. But it acts like a gate. I'm almost positive that there are other places like it, but I expect they're rather spread out. Anyway, normal people can't go through. It's some sort of law built into the whole structure. If regular people went through, I'd imagine they'd displace their equivalents and everything would get shuffled around into a right old mess." He pauses for a second and studies the back of his hand, "every now and then, there's a person so _unlucky_ that they just drop dead like flies, dying young over and over again, until there's only one left. I might add, that it's inevitable that any person will have one equivalent that outlasts the others, it's just that the final one is usually so _old_ that they don't get around much, and their chances of accidentally wandering through a gate are almost nil. But you my friend, are unusually young for a remainder, and you had the misfortune of walking through this alleyway after your last equivalent kicked the proverbial bucket. The same thing happened to me, what seems like eons ago."  
  
"Wow. I can see you've put a lot of thought into this."  
  
"I've had a lot of time to think about it," he says, dryly.  
  
"Every decade or so, some poor sap wanders through here, and I set them straight. It makes me feel useful."  
  
Wow. Sounds like life is just one big party for this guy.  
  
"It was kind of interesting finding out all the ways I died. Eighty percent were from stress-induced illness," he says, smiling, "the rest were suicide. Except for one; the remaining one, I was mauled by a bear while writing in the woods. Pretty neat way to go, I think."   
  
Yep. One biiig party. And he thinks I might want to stick around with him?  
  
I decide to change the subject. "So...you're a writer then?"  
  
His face falls. "You don't recognize me?"  
  
Er, should I? "No...I'm afraid not. Who are you?"  
  
"Soseki," he says, proudly.   
  
"Soseki who?" I ask, feeling stupid.  
  
"_Soseki who_ the boy asks!" he clasps his head, "you break this old man's heart. I'm _the_ Soseki, whelp. What _do_ they teach in schools these days?"  
  
Oh wait, that does sound like a familiar name from high school...if I remember correctly, his stuff bored me to tears....  
  
"Oh, I do remember now...you're one of those dead guys...."  
  
"No kidding," he says.  
  
"Um..." time to change the subject again, "don't you get kinda lonely here?"  
  
"No," he says, "I've got Ophelia."  
  
Ophelia? Oh, he must mean that cat a little ways down the alley. I didn't notice it before.  
  
"Cats make better friends than people, don'tcha Ophelia?"  
  
Okay, he's talking to the cat now. I think that's my cue to go.  
  
"Er, so how do I leave? Just walk down the alley?"  
  
"Yep," says Soseki, "either way will work. Just walk through the alley any time you want to leave. If you find a place you like, just avoid going through the alley and you should be fine."  
  
"Okay," I say, "well, thanks for the help."  
  
"It's what I do," he says, "do me a favor and read one of my books once you settle down."  
  
"...sure." I answer, not so surely.   
  
"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you then."  
  
"I sure hope not." I hear him say, as the endless path begins to shorten and suddenly transforms into a far more familiar street.  
  
In fact, it looks almost exactly like the street I live on ought to look like....  
  
...and there's the Koneko right where it should be!   
  
I practically bolt through the doors. There's hardly anyone inside.  
  
I look around, almost suffocating with hope that I might actually be home....  
  
...until I notice a strange girl working behind the counter. Damn! It's still not right.  
  
"Do you need help?" a friendly voice behind me asks.  
  
I turn around, to face a rather hippy-ish looking man with a goatee, holding a bouquet of flowers.  
  
"Er, do you work here?" I ask.  
  
"No," he says, and pushes a pair of boxy glasses up to rest in his spiky hair, "but I come here all the time, so I know this place. You looked like you were searching for something."  
  
"I was looking for someone named Aya Fujimiya," I say, uncertainly.  
  
"You're a lucky guy then!" the man says, flashing an even bigger smile, "that's the very person I'm buying these flowers for! Aya lives with me!"   
  
My jaw drops open in shock. No way. Aya lives with, and is _receiving flowers from_ a scruffy man wearing sandals and a t-shirt that says '100% organic'?!  
  
Well, this ought to be good.... 


	10. Cake and Parsnips

  
  
"Just let me pay for these flowers," the hippy-man says, "and then you can follow me back to see Aya. You from around here?"   
  
"Um..." how do I explain knowing Aya when this guy lives with him and doesn't know me?! "I lived here a very long time ago, and just moved back."  
  
"Ah! Childhood friends!" he says cheerfully.  
  
"...yeah." I say, feeling _very_ weird about this.  
  
"I've lived here almost all my life!" he says, "great place to live!"   
  
Could this guy be any more upbeat?  
  
"Do you like colcannon?" He asks, "I'll make some if you want to stay for dinner."  
  
"I've never heard of it." I say. This guy doesn't even know me, and he's inviting me for dinner? I could be some kind of murder for all he knows!  
  
Wait a minute. I _am_ 'some kind of murder.' Go figure.  
  
"Oh, I bet you'll like it!" he chirps, "unless you hate parsnips!"   
  
"Um, what are parsnips?" I ask.  
  
"Finest vegetable there is!" he beams, "I positively won't let you leave until you try some!"  
  
Er...okay.  
  
Hm. This street sort of feels familiar. But I can't place why I'd know it...   
  
"Here we are!" he says, knocking on a brightly painted door.  
  
Wait, even this _door_ seems familiar....this is kinda creepy....  
  
It swings open to reveal a plump smiling woman.  
  
Holy fucking shit.  
  
"_Ruth_?!"   
  
Both Ruth and the hippy guy look surprised.  
  
"Jei, dear! Have I met your friend before?" She asks, questioningly.   
  
"No mom," says the pale man, whom it is slowly dawning on me must be...no way..._Farfarello_?! "He's a friend of Aya's. Can you get her?"  
  
Wait. HER?!  
  
"Sure thing, dear," says Ruth, "why don't you help your friend to some cake. I just made a fresh batch!" She turns to me, "don't worry, it's low fat. But you'd never guess by the taste!"  
  
Oh my god. What should I do? I want to freak out...is he safe? Should I try to get Aya away from him? Oh shit oh shit oh shit....  
  
Suddenly a girl with long braids appears in the hallway.  
  
"Jei Sempai!" She cries, and runs and hugs him.  
  
Who the hell is _she_?  
  
"Aya-babe!" Farf-no, _Jei_ says, grinning, "I brought ya flowers! And a friend, too!"   
  
He finally looks over and notices the way my jaw is hanging slack.  
  
"You okay, dude? You look like you were expecting someone else."  
  
"I...sort of was," I answer, still kind of numb.  
  
"Who were you looking for then?" he asks.  
  
"A _man_ named Aya Fujimiya. With...red hair...and...."  
  
The girl named Aya frowns. "That sounds like you want my brother," she says, "but I have no idea why you'd think his name was Aya. That's me."  
  
_Brother_?   
  
"What's...what's your brother's name, then?" I ask, tentatively.  
  
"Ran." She says, "Ran Fujimiya."   
  
_Ran_.  
  
That's what...that's what Omi and Yohji called him the first time things changed! Is..._is that his name where I'm from too?_  
  
"Can I see him?" I ask.   
  
"Sure," says the girl who's really Aya, "but you'll have to wait until after dinner, the hospital doesn't have visiting hours right now."  
  
"The _hospital_?!" I gasp.  
  
"He's been away for awhile," Jei explains, rubbing Aya's shoulder, "he doesn't know about the accident yet."  
  
"Oh," says Aya, frowning again, "I guess we'd better tell you about it then."  
  
"Yeah..." I say, "...tell me all about it...."  
  
Okay, so I'm sitting at a table. Eating Ruth's cake (_but I saw Ruth die!_) Staring at a bizzaro version of Farfarello (_No, not Farfarello, 'Jei.'_) and Aya's little sister, who just happens to be named Aya too, learning that _my_ Aya (_no, not 'my Aya'!_) is actually named Ran and was hit by a car and lying in a hospital in a coma?!  
  
"And so after the accident I was all alone and had no way to pay the hospital...." Aya is saying.  
  
"And the newspapers and TV did stories about it, you see," Jei continues, shoveling cake into his mouth.  
  
"And Ruth saw the story," Aya says, smiling at Jei.  
  
"And so mom had the church raise money so we could take her in," says Jei.   
  
"And take care of Ran too!" Finishes Aya.   
  
"Uh...wow." Is all I can manage.  
  
"As soon as I graduate, I'm going to get a job so I can pay her back," Aya announces.  
  
"Nonsense," says Jei, around a mouthful of cake, "you're part of the family, you don't owe us anything."  
  
"Oh, but Ran will want us to pay you back when he wakes up," says Aya, "he'll never forgive me if we don't."  
  
"If Ran wants to pay us back," Jei says smugly, "he'll say yes when I ask his permission to marry you."  
  
Aya blushes and jabs him in the ribs, "don't talk like that until he's back! I _told_ you I won't give you an answer till he wakes up!"  
  
"Sure, sure," Jei says, with a smile.  
  
I'm starting to feel like a bit of a third wheel here.  
  
For a few minutes everyone just chews in silence....  
  
Until I notice that Aya has been looking at me funny.  
  
"Is there something wrong?" I ask.  
  
"Well," she says, thoughtfully, "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were Ken Hidaka. I swear, you could be his long lost twin or something."  
  
I nearly choke. Crap! _How does she know me?!_  
  
"Wow, you're right!" Jei says, "I _knew_ he looked familiar!"  
  
"Wh-who?" I ask nervously.  
  
"Ken Hidaka," she says, "you know, the famous soccer player."  
  
Oh thank god! She only recognizes me from soccer!  
  
"Never heard of him." I say, wondering how convincing I sound.  
  
"Never heard of him?!" Aya sounds shocked, "but he's all _over_ the television! He was the spokesman for J-phone! And Aquarius! Well, before he died, of course."  
  
"I've been out of the country for a while," I say, "he died, then?"   
  
"Yeah!" Aya says, in a tone far too gossipy for my taste, "_murder_!"  
  
"Murder?"  
  
"A jealous teammate!" Aya says, "it was a _huge_ scandal!"  
  
Kase, that bastard!  
  
"At first they thought it was an accident, but another teammate went to the reporters and broke the cover! I can't believe you didn't hear about it!"  
  
"I'm afraid not," I say.  
  
"Ran was _heartbroken_!" Aya says, "I really wish he was awake, he'd be so _excited_ to see someone who looked just like Hidaka san!"  
  
"Uh, really?" I ask, dumbstruck.   
  
"Uh-huh," Aya says, nodding, "he was a _huge_ fan...."  
  
Aya? Watching _soccer_?!  
  
"but I'll tell you a secret," Aya says, looking smug, "Ran wasn't exactly a sports fan...."  
  
she giggles, "he just saw Hidaka san on a talk show one day, and got, well, _infactuated_."  
  
Say what now?  
  
"Next thing you know, he was watching soccer every night, had all Hidaka's trading cards...."  
  
Uh....  
  
"I'll tell you what _I_ think," Aya says, "I think it was a _crush_!"   
  
"Is that what you think?" I say, dumbly.  
  
She nods wisely. "When the news broke about his murder, Ran _cried_. How many boys your age would cry over _soccer_?"  
  
Hey! _I've_ cried over soccer....  
  
...but I'm not Aya....   
  
...who _doesn't even like_ soccer.  
  
Well, shit.   
  
"Hey!" She says, "you haven't even told us your name yet!"  
  
"Ke...." Oh crap, I can't tell them my real name!  
  
"_Keisuke!_" I save, "Keisuke...Tsukiyono!" _Please let them not know Omi, Please let them not know Omi...._  
  
"That's a nice name," says Aya.  
  
Suddenly Ruth appears in the room.   
  
"Dinner's ready kids!" She waves us into the dinning room.  
  
I catch something out of the corner of my eye.   
  
Ruth's hands....  
  
When Ruth waved, I got a look at the palms of her hands.  
  
_There's scars on her hands._   
  
Those scars should have been from when she stopped Farfarello from stabbing her...  
  
If Farfarello never went crazy, and is living with her as 'Jei'....  
  
_Then why does Ruth still have scars on her hands?!_


	11. Farfarello's room?

**Author's notes:** I suck for taking so long to update, oh, don't I know it. Instead of wasting your time here before the story, I posted my apologies/excuses in my bio. Read if you give a damn, skip if ya don't. (Hope you all didn't get bored and stop caring in the meantime….)

"Earth command to Captain Tsukiyono…."

Huh?

Why is Farfer—Jei calling me Tsuki….oh right, now I remember.

"You okay dude? You totally spaced out there for a minute. In fact it looked like you were checking out my mom!"

"Uh…." Shitohshitohshit….Can't he see I'm about to have a nervous breakdown right now? Just shut up already!

"You come from a festival or something?"

"What?" How can he act so normal? He DID try to kill Ruth! He's posing as an ordinary—no not quite ordinary—well, _harmless_, person, while all the while he's still a murderous psycho!

"A festival," he continues, completely oblivious to my internal panic attack, "your clothes, I'm assuming you don't walk around in traditional garb every day?"

"Er….yeah. Was visiting a temple this morning…." I need to talk to Ruth alone, how can I make him and Aya go away?

Jei nods. "Wanna borrow something normal to wear while you're visiting?" He asks thoughtfully. Or, pretending to be thoughtful so he can lull me into a false sense of security and then hideously dismember me in my sleep….

"Sure," I answer, not sure at all if I want to touch anything he owns.

"Alright then, follow me," Jei hops up from the table and heads towards the door.

"Follow you?" I ask, hoping that my voice isn't betraying my nervousness.

"Yeah. To my room," he says, the patience in his voice starting to slip just ever-so-slightly, "for, you know, _clothes_? I was correct in assuming that you would prefer to change _without _my mother as an audience…unless you're into _that _sort of thing?" he quirks an eyebrow questioningly.

Unable to articulate an answer, I just dumbly shake my head.

Ruth, however, steps up to my rescue.

"Stop teasing him Jei, Can't you see the poor boy's in shock? Here he's come a long way in search of a friend, only to learn that they've been in an accident! Why it's a wonder that his nerves haven't shattered!"

Jei's expression immediately sobers and he turns to bow to Ruth. "You're right mother, that was thoughtless of me. I'll take him now, and fix him up."

"Give him something nice to wear, Jei," Ruth adds, "not one of those ratty t-shirts you're always wearing."

Ruth's words are almost lost on me though, my mind stuck on Jei's comment to 'fix me up.' Fix me up? With what, _knives_? His offer was just a trick to get me alone in his room! Can't Ruth see that's she's sending me to my death?

Okay Ken, snap out of it. I have no proof that this Farfarello is anything like the other one. Maybe the cuts on Ruth's hands are a total coincidence. Maybe she had some sort of accident. Jei might have even saved her for all I know. I need to stop jumping to conclusions. I'm an assassin for chrissakes! I can handle being alone in a room with _one guy_…though of all the enemies I could face, the thought of fighting Farfarello has always creeped me out the most….

Oh shit. There's his door.

Gulp.

"You're really not looking so hot man, you wanna lie down for a bit?"

"No!"

Jei looks surprised by the forcefulness of my response.

"Chill out," he says, patting me on the shoulder, "I'm not going to _force_ you to take a nap, heh."

I involuntarily close my eyes as the door pulls open.

I never _ever_ thought I'd see the day where I'd be hanging out in _Farfarello's bedroom_.

What's gonna be in here? A coffin? Various torture devices? An iron maiden? Some kind of morose religious shrine in the very least….

One eye slowly opens to take in a jumbled mass of color.

A pile of corpses!

Oh…wait. It's a crocheted afghan. I guess that's his…bed?

Berserker sleeps under a crocheted afghan?

Stop it Ken, this isn't Berserker….

I open my other eye to behold the looming image of John Lennon. Okay so the only dead person in here is a poster on his wall; so far so good.

Jei is humming to himself as he digs through a clothes hamper. The mere level of _happiness_ this guy exudes is cause for suspicion enough. It's just not natural.

"I know mom said 'no ratty t-shirts'," Jei seems to be talking to me, "but I'm afraid that's all I've really got at the moment, man, I haven't bought new clothes in _years_, just seems like a waste when the old ones still keep me warm, ya know?"

I acknowledge him with a nod but continue surveying his room. He sure has a lot of philosophy books in here. I never really took him for the reading type; although, that might be because I never really took him for _any _type, aside from 'sociopathic freakazoid.'

"I mean, we buy new clothes fairly often," Jei explains—is he still taking about clothes?—"but I'd rather just give the new ones to charity and keep wearing the old ones, why should a poor person have to wear hand-me-downs, when I still _like_ my old stuff…."

Hmm, is he being serious or is all this Mr. Nicety-nice-nice just an act to build up my trust? Yohji always warned me that I exude an aura of guilibility….

"So here's one you can keep if you want," Jei tosses me a faded blue shirt with 'What would Jesus do?' in bold white type across the chest, "I've kinda outgrown it."

"Uh…" I stumble, "I think I'm bulkier than you, how could I wear it if it no longer fits you?"

"I didn't mean I'd _physically _outgrown it," Jei cryptically replies, tapping his head.

Aha! He admits he _has _turned evil in this world too! "You now object to Christian ideals, you mean?" I pry.

"No," Jei says with a creepily serene smile, "but I find the teachings of my mother's church to be a bit metaphysically restricting; I've become more of a 'God is too big for one religion' kinda guy. Hey, are you Buddhist? I'd love to meditate with you some time if you do that kinda thing!" Well that wasn't exactly the response I expected….

I shake my head, "no…I'm not really anything at all." What's the point? There's probably an executive parking spot in Hell with my name on it already waiting for me….

"Oh really?" he asks questioningly, "I assumed you were the religious type since you recognized my mom, heh…."

I shake my head again….why do _I _feel guilty all of the sudden?

"Ah well, then this one's definitely not for you," the shirt flies back towards the hamper, "No worries though, I'm not really anything myself, either! I think people who try to impose definitions upon God are blinding themselves to the _big picture_—hey how's this one?" a slightly less tattered shirt soars through the air and lands on my face. He _so_ did that on purpose.

I pull it off and inspect it.

This one has a picture of a charmingly depressed whale hovering over the quote "facing extinction."

A shiver runs down my neck.

A coincidental choice from an environmentally conscious citizen? Or an intentional hint from a closet psychopath planning to kill me? Shit, even in a different reality this guy screws with my head.

"It's fine," I say, trying to mask my unease as I pull off Yohji's gi and slip the depressed whale shirt over my head.

"Hmmm…." Jei seems to be talking to himself, "what do I have…" more rummaging, "would you prefer jeans or cargo pants?"

"Whatever you can spare," I reply agreeably. He pulls out a pair of jeans which have sacrificed 40 percent of their surface coverage to colorful patches, and a pair of cargo pants that have more buckles than pockets. The latter there seems more like the Farfarello I know….

He looks apologetic, "um, I can try to find something in the church's charity bin if you'd like?"

"Nah," I say good-naturedly, "those cargo pants look perfect, I'll try those." Okay, so I admit that decision was really based on a macabre curiosity to gain some insight into what being Farfarello must feel like. I've always wondered how he could fight so well with all those straps and junk hanging off his pants…

…I'm gonna regret this, aren't I?

Jei looks me over approvingly, and gives me a thumbs-up, "looking good man! You really pull off my style well!"

Huh? I look down at what I'm now wearing. _This _constitutes a style? What's he call it, eco-grunge?

When I pull my gaze back, I notice he's still staring at me. The knot of unease forming in my stomach tightens. What is he thinking? What's going through Jei's head while he's looking at me?

I avert my eyes and go back to studying his room; I don't want him to know that he's making me uncomfortable.

Let's see, it doesn't really fit anything I would have expected. There's nothing morose about it…well except he's got a little paper maché skeleton dressed like Elvis on his window sill. Though, in regards to that, the words "tasteless" jump to mind before "morose" does. Next to it is s flowerpot, which instead of holding flowers is full of grass—it's not even fancy mondo grass or anything, it's like the stuff you find growing in sidewalk cracks—which has unevenly trimmed patches in it…like someone's been _eating _it?

Please tell me he isn't the one snacking on that. I can't help glancing at him as I imagine Jei chowing down on a salad made of sidewalk weeds.

Eep! He's still watching me! What is he up to?

Room…room…don't look at him, focus on the room….

No anti-religious images. In fact, the walls are pretty much bare aside from the Lennon poster and a quilt tacked up across the room….

Hello, Déjà vu.

That quilt. I've seen that quilt before!

How do I recognize something that belongs to Farfarello when I've never…oh that's right. In my world it wasn't Farfarello who had that quilt, it was _Ruth_. I saw it on her website! She called it 'the angel tapestry' or something like that, and she expected Farfarello would come for it….

It's important.

But it looks a little different here. Dirtier. There's a large stain eclipsing one of the angels. A rusty brown stain. _A very familiar stain_. I own far too many articles of clothing with stains like that.

_Why does Jei own a blanket covered with blood?_

I'm riveted. I can't stop looking at the thing. The stain is so _big_. Someone lost a _lot_ of blood. Was it Jei? He's lacking all the scars Farfarello has...

"Isn't it pretty?"

Jei's unexpected comment makes me jump.

"Huh?" I stutter.

"The tapestry," Jei says, "it's pretty, isn't it? I mean, you're probably not into angels or anything, but you've gotta admire the skill it took to make it, huh? I've tried sewing, I have to admit, and I downright suck."

I nod, not sure how to reply.

"My mom made it," he adds proudly, "it was a present for Gracie because she memorized the creation story in the Bible."

My stomach feels like it's full of lead, "Gracie?"

"My sister."

The lead in my stomach turns to ice. Farfarello had a sister. She's dead. Where is Jei's sister?

"You…have a sister?" I ask timidly.

"I did," he replies, in a melancholy hush.

I know I'll regret asking this, but I can't stop myself. "What happened to her?"

"Well, it's kinda funny you should ask that," he says, scratching the back of his head casually, "I sort of killed her."

Although I half expected this, hearing the words drains every ounce of warmth out of my being. I can actually feel the color leaving my face. Is he toying with me? How can he talk about this like it's nothing? He's psychologically toying with me before the kill…..

"Are you okay man?" he asks.

_Am I okay?_ How the Hell could he expect me to be okay after telling me something like that? Of course I'm not okay! I can't even answer, I just stare at him emotionlessly.

"You don't have to freak out," he says, "she's in a better place now. She's way happier there."

"How could _you _know that?" I answer coldly.

"Cause I've been there," he says cheerfully, "after I realized what I'd done, I killed myself too."


End file.
